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Threatens to leave *Update* & another question...

So after the spat and I went to bed she cleaned her room, staying up to at least 12 pm it was a pit. Went to school and needed to stay after because she was selected to be a "Senior Buddy" (recommended by her teachers to help incoming Freshmen next year), so she texted me thinking that I would not let her stay/drive her home. I did pick her up. It is a huge honor to be selected. She has been stuck by my side like glue ever since.

So here's my other question all I really want from her is an apology. I want her to look me in the eye and say "I'm Sorry". I know she is. I can see it in her body language and the guilt in her eyes. She needs to learn that she is getting older, but she is not grown and that she needs to keep herself in check. If she was 5 and this was an issue with a friend I would make her apologize and tell her why she was saying she was sorry. How do I do that when the person she needs to apologize to is me???

 
sipn_mom

Asked by sipn_mom at 8:52 AM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 18 (5,555 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think it's ok to ask her for an apology,it's a hard thing for people of all ages to do and I believe one of the most imortant lessons we must teach our kids. I make sure and apologize to mine when needed, so they witness the experience of my courage and honesty and hopefully will find it easier to do themselves. Not apologizing geves us sub concious permission to repeat the bad behavior and I don't want to teach that!!
    misha230

    Answer by misha230 at 11:34 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Oh wow. I don't really know what to tell you, but the update sounds really positive. I have always made my kids apologize to me/my husband when they were "ugly" to one of us. But usually, my husband talks to them about it when they need to apologize to me, and I talk to them when they need to apologize to him. It's hard to tell someone they have to apologize to you. I hope you get some good answers, and I hope things continue on this track. That her teachers saw something in her to receive that honor should make you very proud, sounds like an overall good kid!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:57 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I am glad she got herself "right" with the world,, I think you take her out to lunch, and say I was so hurt by your behavior, would you mind telling my why you reacted like that and if your sorry,, it is hard enough being a teenager, she doesn't realize (because your mom) that you need one, just like any other person would! good luck!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:08 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I didn't see the other post, sorry :( But I just want to chime in about the apologizing part, becasue I remember someone else wanting an apology for something recently. What is it you think the actual apology will do? Why is "I'm Sorry" so important? Not trying to be rude, just a simple thought, the way I have always looked at things, actions speak louder then words. Wouldn't you rather she show you she is sorry by acting better then just saying she's sorry and having her not really mean it? I was always one who wanted apologies until I realized, as long as they know what they did was wrong and don't do it again on top of acting "better," I am happier. Why don't you just try and sit her down, talk about what happend and see what she says?
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 8:58 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I know actions should speak louder than words... but, I think sometimes owning your actions is important. That is what saying "I"m Sorry" is important with her. To me it give her ownership and she can't just pretend that it didn't happen.
    sipn_mom

    Comment by sipn_mom (original poster) at 9:01 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Well, that is why I suggested talking to her. The issue(s) obviously have to be confronted (again, I didn't see th earlier post so maybe they already have been) but she is a teen, most teens are not just going to come out an apologize, they are still very immature. Even many adults won't, that is one reason I don't expect them anymore. We can teach our children to say sorry but they have to want and feel comfortable saying it. Just sit down after everything is settled.
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 9:08 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Oh I am sure my sailing is far from smooth...but I am happy to take today's calm waters :-) and wait out the next storm LOL. Thanks for the luck...I am sure I will need it.
    sipn_mom

    Comment by sipn_mom (original poster) at 9:13 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

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