Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

15 Bumps

I don't like the relationship between my sister and my husband

My husband has known my sister since she was nine years old. He calls her her little sister and they even have nicknames for each other. Well she is now 16 and they are still very close. A year back I had to have a discussion with my sister about how she is with my husband. She was always sitting in his lap and hugging on him like she did when she was 9. I even had extended family members ask me if it bothered me how they acted around each other. Well it didn't at first until my husband told me he took my sister and my daughter to the mall and everyone thought they were a couple and my daughter was their daughter. He is 24 and he looks really young. He can pull of 16 easily. We live with my mom at the moment so he is always around her. Even her boyfriend is uncomfortable with their relationship. He's very protective and makes sure she is in by her curfew and looks out for her well being. Anyway last night I hear my daughter crying so I got up to tend to her and I couldn't find my husband anywhere. Come to find out he was in my sisters bed watching TV with her at 4 in the morning. I went off telling him that was highly inappropriate and he acted like I was overreacting. I told him I don't care if you view her as your sister she is 16 and not your blood. Well he was pretty pissed that I got so upset. This is not the first time that I have gotten really mad at them. My mom tells me that I have nothing to worry about and my husband would never do anything with my sister. I agree but I don't have to like how their relationship is. Am I in the wrong for thinking that is inappropriate? Was I overreacting?

Answer Question
 
Eisleysmommy27

Asked by Eisleysmommy27 at 9:56 AM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,971 Credits)
Answers (42)
  • No it's 100% completely inappropriate behavior for him, so you NOT overreacting at all and I'd put a stop to it right away!
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 9:59 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I don't think you were over reacting, it was inappropriate. He needs to respect you on this issue, as does your sister.
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 10:01 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • It's nice that he seems protective of her... but anything beyond that (ESPECIALLY watching TV in bed with her at 4 am) seems very inappropriate. Do you have any plans to move out soon? Maybe if they aren't living under the same roof, things will get a little better and he won't feel the need to be so "brotherly".
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 10:02 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • No you were not wrong...a 24 yo man has NO business in a 16 yo's bed at anyime when she is in it...I don;t care how long they have known eachother or how how he views her...like you said they are NOT blood.
    happymama02

    Answer by happymama02 at 10:02 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I've tried putting a stop to it but my husband doesn't believe anything is wrong with it. Everyone at my house says I'm overreacting. My mom, sister, and my husband so he thinks I'm in the wrong. I told him to try to put himself in my shoes. I'm just at a loss. I don't know what to say. I've said everything I could possibly think of yet it still continues.
    Eisleysmommy27

    Comment by Eisleysmommy27 (original poster) at 10:03 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I wouldn't like that at all..
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:03 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • We are moving out it two weeks but we'll be living a whole 2 minutes from my moms house and I know he'll be going over there a lot.
    Eisleysmommy27

    Comment by Eisleysmommy27 (original poster) at 10:04 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • It's sweet that he is nice to her because it's nice to get along with family, but to be watching t.v. with her in her room at 4am that is just totally inappropriate I would be upset & also that whole sitting on his lap thing is also inappropriate, you need to have a serious talk with both of them again & if they continue I would leave him & tell him he can have his jail bait if he wants. GL!

    VanillaBlondie8

    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 10:05 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Tell your sister to knock it off! Then after your dh sees shes not gonna be all huggy with him anymore they will stop if they are willing to be respectful....and seriously your mom should put a stop to it as well....even if she says nothing to worry about she can put what she thinks aside and at least talk to her about it and how it makes you feel....
    raeyliNlilysmom

    Answer by raeyliNlilysmom at 10:11 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I agree! TOTALLY inappropriate! In fact, it's inappropriate on MANY levels -
    1) the whole there needs to be boundaries and he needs to NOT be hanging out with her in her bed (and - btw - if they were just watching tv - then why is it that they - awake and only watching tv - couldn't hear the baby crying - who was obviously crying loud enough to wake you up...)
    2) she is NOT his sister - and he should have enough sense to not be acting this way
    3) it obviously bothers you, and they - as your husband and as your sister - should both care enough about your feelings that they wouldn't want to be acting this way and hurting you like this.

    It sounds to me like your sister secretly enjoys the attention - the flirting, etc - it's a power rush, "playing with fire" and with big sister's dh - showing that "she's just as much, if not more, a woman than you" sort of crap (yes, it does happen) - and, "big brother feelings" or not,

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:21 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN