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Should I feel guilty about not wanting to be a stay-at-home mom anymore?

I'm 23 years old and I've been a stay-at-home mom for almost a year now. Honestly, I feel so guilty because I don't want to stay home anymore. My husband has a really good job and I'm not obligated to work, but I still want to find a job anyways. I'm tired of being home all the time. I feel crazy and depressed. All I want is to have a part-time job...should I feel guilty about this? My son is a LOT of work and it's all on my shoulders...I have no family or friends to help me out and I don't get breaks. Should I feel bad that I want to get a nanny a couple days a week and get a job?? Anyone feel the same??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (11)
  • nothing wrong with it. i say if you are depressed then staying home is not for you any more. its not for everyone. go find a part time job and it will good way to get out. just discuss this with your husband and everything will work out. gl

    Answer by lambdarose at 10:19 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM. I was climbing the walls while on maternity leave. It doesn't mean you don't love your child. If you are unhappy staying at home, your family won't be happy.

    Good luck to you!

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 10:23 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Don't feel guilty! Feeling bad at home will only build resentment and frustration...go forth!

    Answer by Dahis at 10:25 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I think a child needs their mother if at all possible to be there. But a part-time job is a little different. A little break won't hurt, but probably will only help. Just please keep in mind that you may still have all of the things to do at home. Your DH might still not cook and clean while you are gone and that will be added responsibility. If it's too much extra, then why not join a gym or something that you won't be gone so long and still have some mommy time. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

    Answer by attap5 at 10:26 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Lord no you shouldn't feel guilty. A part time job would probably do you some good. There is nothing I love more than when I get home from work and my kids greet me in a full sprint. I was a SAHM for 4 years and I was so glad to go back to work. I helped out in the nursery at church and did other little odd and in things such as volunteering while I was a SAHM. It gave me some much needed adult conversation lol. It's perfectly normal to need a break a few times a week. GL & GB

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 10:28 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • No just no but HELL NO. Not all of us are cut out for it.

    Save guilt for when you kill something. (I'm still doing penance for inadvertently parboiling our goldfish.)

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:45 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Nope! I was glad to go back to work and I think my DD is better for it too. Good luck!!

    Answer by jmpj8107 at 11:20 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Hell no! I was laid off from work while in the hospital giving birth so I stayed home with him for 6 months. It wasn't what I planned - I was planning on going back after 12 weeks. Everyone told me how "lucky" I was to be able to stay home, but I was bored to tears. When a job offer landed in my lap I took it first chance. Remember, when mama's not happy, then no one's happy!

    Answer by Telephus44 at 12:47 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • That sounds a little like me. Once my son was about 1 1/2 I started to get the itch to work. I mean I had worked earlier on, but it was only helping my mom a few times a month so I didn't count that. I started working part time waitressing and felt so guilty for leaving my son. I stressed myself out trying to make a schedule that would leave me with as much time with him as possible. I'd use my tip money to bring him home new toys that I had gotten hoping that he wouldn't stop loving me and tried to spoil him! Well, it wasn't necessary. He actually seemed to be closer to me because he got the chance to miss me while I was gone. He had (and still has) a lot of fun with his grandma and papa. I started working full time and I loved it! More money and a chance to get out of the house and be *me* instead of *mommy* all the time.

    Answer by ours at 12:53 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I've stayed home and worked out of the home. Honestly, even when I was working just as much as my husband (sometimes more), I was still the primary caregiver for our daughter. This is fine, but it's something to be considered. Make sure you and your partner have realistic expectations of each other if you do decide to go back to work.
    This is not to say that it's bad in any way - I'm staying home currently, but I definitely miss working some days (Oh, to talk with people who don't let me know when they "peepee"...). There's no reason to feel guilty. Just be prepared for the transition if you do decide to get a job :)

    Answer by CPCrane at 1:56 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

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