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Should I work or not?

My BF and I live together and we both have joint custody of our kids from previous realtionships, so every other week we both have our boys with us. I have a job waiting tables at a local dinner and I dont exactly love my job. My BF keeps asking me "Are you ready to quit yet and just come stay home?" He knows my dream is to be a stay at home mom while going to school to get my MA degree and then going to work when all the kids are in school. I have told him that I don't want him to have to support me and my son because I would feel like we were taking adavantage of him. He says he doesn't see it like that and would love for me to be able to do what I want, stay home with the kids and do online school. What would you other ladies do in my situation?

Answer Question

Asked by logansmommy711 at 11:28 AM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 10 (455 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I would grab that situation with both hands, LOL.
    You would be bettering yourself for a real career when you ARE ready.
    That's just what I would do though...if he's serious and capable /stable of supporting all this and wouldn't let you down somewhere along the way. Just be sure....then GO FOR IT!!

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 11:33 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I don't know, its up to you. I want to be a stay at home mom, and I'm going to be a stay at home mom. Me and my husband struggle with bills but we do alright, I ask him if I should get a job to help out, and he says he would rather me stay home, so I do. When the baby gets old enough I'm going to go back to school, and then when the baby starts going to school I'm going to get a job and stuff.

    Answer by monstersmommy20 at 11:35 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • It is up to you, I would do a budget and see if it really isn't going to affect your quality of life if you quit,, I also might want to be married, just because if something happens he would be able to leave you and or kick you out, he sounds like a good guy, but I would want a bit of my own money.

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:42 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Kimigogo that is how I feel, until we are married or have a child together I dont feel like I should be his "resonsibility" so to say. He makes more than enough money to support us all and still have extra to do whatever we want. I just don't want to have to ask him for money every month when my bills are due or my car needs gas or we need groceries or I want new shorts for summer or my son has outgrown his clothes and needs new ones. you think I would be insulting him for not taking the help that he is offering me? Jeeze I am soo confused on what to do!

    Comment by logansmommy711 (original poster) at 11:52 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • If you were in a job that was related to your career, I'd say absolutely not until you are married. However, it's just a waitress job. If something were to happen and he left you, you could easily pick up another job like that. You are also doing him a great service by being home with his kid too. Having been a working mom all my life, I do regret not having been able to spend time at home with my daughter and always having to take her to daycare and running off to work. I would suggest you take this opportunity and see it as a blessing for your kids - and not as a drag on your boyfriend. You are doing it for your kids and as long as he can afford it, you should do it if your heart wants to and he is open to it. Don't project your own insecurities onto him. He seems genuinely wanting to do this.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:59 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I would sit down with him and have a heart to heart conversation. Tell him what you've told us here. He really does sound like a great guy who wants to take care of you and your son. Lay everything on the table so he knows exactly where you're coming from and why. That way there is no room for confusion later on.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:08 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I don't think you should worry about him supporting you because you're not his responsibility. What I would worry about is being controlled by him. Is he the type to hold it over your head? If not and you're sure you will be with him forever then go for the stay at home pursue your education route.

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:39 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • keep working until the job you have naturally fizzles out
    that way you won't feel guilty for quitting when you didn't have to
    school is good, in fact it's great but there's a time and place for everything

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 5:33 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • no you will not be insulting him for declining his offer
    it's smart of you to not want to ask for his money
    rich or not he needs to make/keep his money
    and you need to make/keep yours
    if you were married though, i'd say go to school ASAP!

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 5:35 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

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