• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you withhold sex until hubby agrees to make it worth your time?

We have a six month old and I had a c-section so sex wasn't really high on MY priority list for a long time. So about a month a go I finally started getting back in the mood and so we went for it. I was so excited about it but it lasted like 3 minutes, I swear. I timed it. I thought maybe its because its been so long....WRONG!!! We have had sex at least 4 more times and I felt like crap. I even got some nice lingerie (that he picked out) to try to keep things going . He would get his kicks and that was it. Then, I would complain about it and he would say, "We're not done for the night, so be ready." (cheesy, huh?) So, I'd wait for the second course and then I'd realize he had fallen asleep. So, I told him no more bed romps until he can get his shit together because I'm sick of the 2 pump chump. What would you do? Any advice as a way to handle this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Dec. 11, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • As for him not lasting long, It's not his fault. I was away from hubby for 2 months when he worked in alaska and he was like that for awhile after he came back. He was just so excited to be able to have sex again. You probably hurt his feelings if you mentioned him cumming too fast. That is always an ego blow for a man. I suggest being more understanding with him and warming him up slowly. Tell him sweetly, "Make it last baby, I want to enjoy you.". Tell him if he gets close to cumming to pull out and change position or give you some oral or just love on you. Good luck. I wouldn't hold out on him. How would you feel if he denied you sex for something like that? I don't know about your hubby but mine is hurt when I deny him and I'm hurt when he denies me. That's why we don't do that anymore. It does no good, it just hurts. You two are the ONLY ones eachother can rely on for emotional and sexual release.
    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 12:29 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • do not with draw the sex...they will just jack off.
    if he has been jacking off tell him to dont do it for awhile dh had this problem and that is how i fixed it.
    mama2twins07

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 11:26 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Wouldn't withholding just make the problem worse, since he won't build up any endurance? Sorry, I don't know how to make it better though.

    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 11:27 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Maybe you need to get a little creative. Just ask him what turns him and tell him to do some things that turn you on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Try to get him back up. He should be able to "maintain" longer the second time. If he's asleep, wake him up! Maybe on his day off too. I know my SO after a long day of working, when he's asleep, he is asleep!
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 11:47 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • No, I wouldn't withhold sex. My husband and I made a promise not to ever fight with sex and for the 2 years we've been married, we've both held to that.

    You might try helping him out earlier in the evening (not at bedtime) to see if it helps.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I wouldn't do that. Honestly I'd make him jack off that day then later on when you have sex it will last longer.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • You could try being on top. When you think he's getting ready to finish, stop and change positions. Do this a few times so he'll last a little longer. See if it helps.
    Laurabear

    Answer by Laurabear at 12:14 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • That happened a lot with my dh after both kids. He said it was because we hadn't had sex in so long that he would just get too excited. It never bothered me, I just kind of laughed it off. But doing it more often helped him get the 'endurance' back, so I don't think withholding will help, probably just make it worse!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • I don't hold out on sex. I still can't resist my husband... kinda pisses me off. If I try my hubby guilt trips me. LOL he won't jack off so either way he get's his way. And I must be a total weirdo. I started having sex again 8 days after my c section. I guess I just couldn't wait. LOL.

    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 12:29 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

Next question in Relationships
What wuld you do?

Next question overall (Pregnancy)
HELP...