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4 Bumps

Do all guys think like this?? adult content

Is this the way all guys think?

I admit it, I'm very ignorant about a lot of things, especially about relationships. I married 20 yrs ago at age 19 to the only guy I was ever with, I never even dated before him. In many ways, before and after marriage, I've been very sheltered. (until I started hanging out on the internet)

Lately, I've been paying attention to some of the things my dh says to me. He often talks to me about things he sees, hears or learns about and shares his options with me.

Every time he hears about someone's marriage or relationship ending it's always, "well, SHE must of just want to do it with someone else" or she just wants to keep/ spend his money while she gets to sleep around. Always along those lines. If he hears the guy cheated, it's...well, maybe she wouldn't give him none, or maybe she was cheating and he got tired of it.

To hear him talk all girls want money, someone to spend money on them and sex.

It's like he believes that all relationships revolve around sex and if it ends, it's always related to sex and it always the females fault. Not friendship or common interest or enjoying each others company. It's sex.

He's normally a great guy, an excellent dad, very responsible. But when he talks like this it makes me worry what he must secretly think of me. I'm female! Yes, he's says I'm different, that's why he's with me, but what if?

I'm getting older. If someday, I can't do my "wifely duty " , do I suddenly become them? Those that "refuse to for no good reason" and then I'm no longer a use to him.

It really bugs me when he says these things. Maybe I'm overly sensitive, don't know.

Do all guys think similar too this? Just wondering.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Nope.. my guy knows when hes done wrong.. and he knows when another guy is an asshole.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 12:29 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • well honestly sex does end tons of marriages and the inability of one partner to perform is difficult for any relationship to handle. in my marriage my husband expects sex and so do i on a daily basis we have an undertanding that we can both demand it when we need it. if that were to suddenly stop id prbly have to seek some counseling to keep our marriage as healthy as it is now.
    takes_a_village

    Answer by takes_a_village at 12:31 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I have to say....from what I have experienced in life (and I'm 46 and been married twice). MOST (not all) but most guys have sex on the brain alot of the time. Even my husband can always find a way to bring SEX into a topic, a conversation, a joke, a comment....sometimes it even gets on my nerves a little. He's just wired that way I think. Sometimes I even tell him..." if anybody could relate THAT to sex...it would be YOU ". Ughh...I can't say I fully understand it. He gets plenty, he doesn't lack yet it's always still somewhere on his mind.
    You asked 'do all guys think similar too this? In a way, I think many DO. They may not go around saying it but I think somehow sex is related to everything in a relationship to guys. I think there are some facts out there somewhere on how many times a day guys think about sex, envision sex etc etc...Women are different, so I think this really tends to bug us. (out of space) :(
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 12:39 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Guys do think about sex constantly (9 times a minute I think it was?) But I don't think they all link a divorce with an unfaithful wife. It probably has more to do with his childhood and his family of origin. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if you did some digging and found some really nasty stuff within his family that has colored his view for life and did play a part in why he picked you. Are you more cute than hot and a bit on the frugal side? That would make you a safe choice - very different from the flashy 3 times divorce aunt that your in-laws used to gossip about when they thought your husband was asleep in his bed at the age of 5. Or heaven forbid that his grandfather remarried after his grandmother passed and the new young wife cheated on him and got 100% of the inheritance. That sort of the can twist a person's veiws forever.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 12:46 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Like the reply above says(takes a village) about sex does end tons of marriages ....it does in this day and age more than ever. Sad but true.
    He says "you're different" but he does tend to think that most other women just want money and sex or want money but no sex. It seems it's an awfully big deal in his opinions about other women out there. Also,look at the tv commercials, tv shows, reality shows...that's all everything seems to be about anymore too. We're being conditioned to this. SEX SEX SEX....like nothing can be beautiful or of any value anymore without SEX. Even chewing gum commercials. Good Grief. It makes me sick really. Not all women are just about sex and we have much more to offer than that. How empty. ......well, anyway. I've said my gripe for the day. I hope you got some answers. ? Good Luck to you!
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 12:48 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I think most men think like that, but then again, I also think a lot of women think it's all men's fault etc....
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 12:49 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I don't know what most guys think - but it probably has a lot to do with his own inexperience (just like you) in relationships. He's just hearing a friend's complaint and one side of the issue. His point of view is actually very naive and nothing more. I wouldn't worry about it affecting your marriage unless you see some problem in other ways. But it sounds like you have a good, strong marriage. Just let it go.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 2:14 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • no not at all.
    BriHan06

    Answer by BriHan06 at 4:12 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • most men think about sex
    but most don't think women cheat more than men
    a stable mind would know the stats on that greatly vary depending on
    so many factors
    maybe something happened to him in his past. it could be seen in a positive light
    that he thinks men don't cheat as much
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 5:19 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • true love will shine through even if your not doing your wife/mother duties
    i think men equate sex to LOVE just as women equate affection/saying it to LOVE
    sooo...if he's saying the woman isn't giving sex, he's saying the woman isn't giving love
    (maybe) just an idea
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 5:22 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

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