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2 Bumps

Handling pms / obsessive thoughts

Right now i can think of about 5 different reasons why i am mad at my S.O.
How do i bring these up without fighting? How do i not come off like a bitch.
These are justifiable complaints but i never really learned the art of confrontation. One example is, He talked about taking me to a certain concert. Now he is acting like he never asked me...did something else come up?  He told me he isnt going to __________this year. These issues are all i can think about. I am "spinning my wheels. " Help.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • what are the issues?
    takes_a_village

    Answer by takes_a_village at 1:36 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Your biggest mistake is the word "confrontation". Adults in a loving relationship should never have to have confrontations. We should be able to discuss things and stay nice without getting defensive or offensive. Maybe you can just let them know you need to talk and get some things off your chest, set a time. Then in as nice a way as possible say what you are feeling, it is best to stick to talking about you and your feelings as to not put the other person in defense mode.
    If this is not possible you may try to write a short letter just explaining how you are feeling.
    dharmagirl

    Answer by dharmagirl at 1:39 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • pms has gotten worse for me the older i get. but deep breaths, counting, and for me caffeine for some reason helps.
    austinpierce

    Answer by austinpierce at 1:45 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • What men cant never understand is that we as women have PMS and our emotions are always out of control that week, and anything can set us off. And sometimes I wish they would be understanding during this time for us. But as we women know men say different, but they get PMS too, but no matter what, we understand when they get in their little moods as well. But for your situation your SO needs to at least sit down and listen to you, and make sometime with just the two of you to talk. I hope you get through to him, and that he is more considerate to your needs, and your feelings. Good Luck Girl!!
    Alabamamama06

    Answer by Alabamamama06 at 2:06 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I'd wait until the PMS is over before bringing these things up. That way you can gauge whether it's the hormones talking or to what degree.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 2:11 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • last night my SO agreed to go with me as I was taking my dog on a walk. one block into it he's like, "bye im going to walk to tony's"
    i said "well F you then!"
    clearly he ditched me for his friend and i think your SO might be ditching you and the concert for something else too.
    my SO said "you don't have to get all mad and say F you, just ask if i can finish the walk with you"

    my biggest advice would be..don't be mad/play the guessing game about why he would do this to you. Approach him with no emotion attached to the issue since you don't know his side of the story yet. what makes you think your anger is justifiable?
    who knows maybe you don't have the right to be mad YET.

    try to gain an extremely independent attitude. "i don't need or want to go the concert anyway, i have better things to do" and just do those better things and stop thinking about the RELATIONSHIP. imagine life without him at the moment
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 2:41 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

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