Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

OMG I was ready to beat this child to a pulp!

I took my 2yr old dd and 4yr old ds to the park. obviously there were a few other kids there. we were there for about 15 minutes or so, when more came around. This kid that had just got there, went to the slide both my kids just happened to be playing on. dd went down first, ds went down next and then the kid. well, dd was going a bit slow trying to get down, i think her leg (she had a skirt on) was kind of sticking to the slide, KWIM? well, the kid pushed my ds. he turned around and said "don't hit me". so what did the kid do? HIT HIM AGAIN! now, normally when ds tells another kid not to hit them, the kid stops and they go on about playing like nothing happened. my ds again said "stop". by now they're off the slide. The kid then starts chasing my son around the slide, with his hand up in a fist, going to hit him again! my son kept saying "leave me alone, i don't want to play with you". Now, I didn't step in for a reason, i wanted to A) see what my son would do about it before i intervened, but i was watching carefully ( i wanted to yell to him to hit him back, but i also wanted to go beat the kid myself) and B) i was looking for the mom...i had no idea which mom was his, the only other person paying attention to it besides me was the woman sitting next to me (she got there when i did, so i knew it wasn't her that was the mother) finally my son came running to me. the kid had the guts to run after him even when he came to me, he stopped midway when he realized i was his mother, but he stood there, staring at me, smiling, with his fist still in the air! oh i wanted to pulverize him! i've never seen this behavior before in a (had to have been at least) 3yr old!
instead of telling the other kid to shove it, (i didn't want a fight with his mom, wherever she was. they tend to not be in the picture until someone is in their child's face) i removed my son from the situation and took him to the swings. while at the swings, i descretely told my son that next time a "friend" (he calls all kids his age his friend) hits him, and he doesn't stop after he tells them to stop, and his mommy or daddy doesn't come discipline his friend, he has my and daddy's permission to hit the child back.

Right, wrong? what would you have done?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (12)
  • I would have intervened right away. I wouldn't have cared or looked for the other mother, I would have been up and at my child's side as quickly as my fat old legs would have allowed. You probably did the right thing, I wouldn't have.

    Answer by meooma at 3:08 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Great parenting skills!! Teach your kid to be violent as you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • i would of made a point to find the mom

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 3:09 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • We have a simple rule around here. Use your words to defuse a situation. If you can not and someone is trying to harm you, or already has, STOP AT NOTHING TO STOP THEM.
    I absolutely do not condone this sort of bad behavior, nor will I raise my children to be victims.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:09 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I would have said something to the kid. I probably would have said something like "dont do that he doesn't like that' or "you need to stop when friends tell you to stop" and/or "wheres your mom/do i need to talk to your mom"

    a few times recently i have almost took a child by the hand and took him to a adult and asked "IS THIS YOURS" because omg i hate going to parks just for this reason!

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 3:12 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • On a side note, I have *no* issue taking a child to it's parent. If the parent decides to behave badly, then the police can take them away for all I care. I do not intervene over small spats, but when a child is obviously there with one objective- to harm anyone in their way- it would be negligent of me not to intervene.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:12 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I would of got up and told the boy to stop the FIRST time it happened. I would of asked who's kid he was and talked to the parent.

    Answer by momavanessa at 3:12 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • oh yes anon, so my kid would never learn how to fend for himself...right. because everyone in the world only uses their words....*rolls eyes*

    maybe i should have intervened early on. but thought for sure my ds would turn around and hit him...i guess i taught him too well not to hit his friends. he has no problem hitting his sister, so i guess i figured he'd just...hit him lol. he DID do what i taught him, verbally told the kid to stop, but i never did tell him that if it gets out of hand, to fend for himself. maybe because the verbal either stops it, or the other parent is paying attention and gets their child. now i know, though, and i'll be stressing that to him.

    i don't have to worry about my dd. she holds her own lol. if she tells them no, and they hit again, oh it's ON lol

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:19 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • being violent is never the answer.

    Answer by momthruivf at 3:25 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • You did good Mom! The only thing I might have done differently was intervene a little sooner, but I'm a Momma Bear and will sometimes fly off the handle if I think my child(ren) are being harmed. I would have taken that child by the hand/arm and taken him around to the parents asking who he belonged to and told the parent what he had done to my child. GOOD for your son too for not hitting back, even though he had every reason to pop that hid in the nose.

    We tell our kids the same thing. We don't want them fighting, but if the other kid starts it you have every right to defend yourself. It's worked so far. He's 7, she's 4 and she routinely whoops his @$$.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 3:37 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.