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My friend has changed since she turned 21 and her children are suffering for it, what should I do?

I have known her since she was 18. I met her right when her son was a little younger than 1 yr. She now has 2 more children also, the oldsest is 7 and the youngest 3. She used to be so wonderful with her kids and such a great mother. She was my go to gal on parenting advice, but ever since she turned 21, now 24, she hasn't been the same. She spends a lot of her time drinking and partying and chasing after her hubby instead of taking care of the kids. Now I love theses babies like they were my own and its hurts to see them striving so hard just to get her attention. the oldest child recently pulled a tv down onto himself. Thank the Lord he survived. This worries me very much, for their safety, and also for the simple fact that children need love and attention to grow up happy and healthy. I love those children as if they were my own. What should I do?

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callmeBatmom

Asked by callmeBatmom at 4:29 PM on Jun. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (35 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Talk to her...your her friend even if she hates you fora while it's your job as a good friend to tell her the realisty of things.
    happymama02

    Answer by happymama02 at 4:31 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • talk to her about things you are seeing and try to go on outings with her and the kids..try to get her to make more time for them if its nothing more than going to the park etc
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 4:31 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • You could try and talk to her although it sounds like she has children young and now that she is older she is trying to relive those early years. I know some people who have done this and it is never easy to watch them go through it. In the end the best thing is to be there for them and if you do talk to her don't totally criticize her because you don't want her to get mad and stop talking to you. If that happens then you won't be there to help with the kids.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 4:34 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • You should have a heart to heart with her. Ask her if she's okay and ask if she's depressed or something to try and figure out why she's changed. Maybe she's feeling overwhelmed with 3 kids and a dh at a young age and she's trying to go out and party to escape the pressures of being at home or something. I would tell her you noticed she's just not quite the same and that you're concerned. Be open and honest with her, but in a loving and respectful way.
    Kaybean

    Answer by Kaybean at 4:36 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • IDK momma, just try to talk to her and let her know you love her, and want her to be safe, and think about her kids..you know for whatever reason she is hurting, or she wouldn't be acting like a fool,, so sad,, but try to make her see the light!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 4:47 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I would first sit down and have a heart to heart with her. I'm really concerned about the oldest pulling down that TV on top of himself. That sounds a LOT like neglect to me. You could always go to your local police station and ask what you can do, if anything, to help her.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 5:03 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

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