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How do I get SO to stop disagreeing with me in front of our DD??

It seems no matter what I tell our DD my SO says the opposite, so much so that if she asks me a question and doesnt get the answer she wants she ask daddy! And I will tell her to do something and...right in front of me....she will turn to daddy and say do I have to daddy? I have told him over and over again that he needs to stop this and I am tired of not being listened to...by him or our DD! So how do I get this through to him b/c it still continues???

 
Punkylu78

Asked by Punkylu78 at 6:25 PM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,240 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • you need to pull him aside and talk to him about it... cause that is how kids learn to go to... well mom always says no and i know dad will say yes so i'll just go ask him... my husband and i had that same issue and it is the same thing that almost drove us apart too... cause no matter what when it comes to parenting you guys need to be on the same page even if you don't always agree with whatever it may be... but to me it's belittling... now i just tell my son well i need to talk to your dad about it and vice versa. it's a line of respect in parenting.

    mommys2cupcakes

    Answer by mommys2cupcakes at 6:35 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • i had the issue with my dh and my sd thats 14..i would tell her something and he would change it..or it we were having and agruement he would degrade me in front of her which lead her to think she could run her mouth too..everyone has faults everyone...so to stop things from being this way i finally backed him in a corner and told him he could either stop his crap and stand by me when there is a problem with her and settle things like adults or they could both pack their crap and get out..and i told him if he had a disagreement with the way i was handling things to say ok we need to talk real quick and we go into another room and discuss things where she cant hear then come back with the solution...it worked for me and i hope it will help you too
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Thats exactly what Iwas going to tell him next that if he disagrees with me that's fine just dont do it in front of her!
    Punkylu78

    Comment by Punkylu78 (original poster) at 6:33 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I agree that it is disrespectful and that is how it makes me feel...disrespected! And I have always said that I would have to talk to him first but I just need to get him to do it too! The one that bothers me the most is when we are in the same room and I tell her she cant have something she turns to him and he says yes! I said did you not just hear me say she cant have that....very annoying!

    Punkylu78

    Comment by Punkylu78 (original poster) at 6:45 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I think most parents have been through this at some time or another. It takes the parents working together on this kind of thing. He's got to get on your side for the sake of your dd. That's basically the goal...now, how do you get him to do that? I don't know him but, all you can do is talk to him about it. (( How would he like it if he told her no on something and she just went to you for the answer she wanted everytime ??)) Parents stick together on the answers given or it will never work. She'll always just go to the other parent. If he were telling her no and you were telling her yes,,,then he would feel 'disrepected'. Just talk to him about what's best for her in the long run...surely he wants her on the right track. JMO...been there, done that. Most kids try this when they figure it out, :-)
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 6:51 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Dh needs to say to dd "listen to your mother'. And that should be the only thing he says. Good luck.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 7:08 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

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