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Question for Muslim moms in particular, but anyone can answer. Cheating husband?

My husband has a problem, unfortunatly.
He plays with women online, flirts and talks on the phone and occasionally meets them.
One just called my house tonight. She is a Muslim girl as well. He met her in a hotel and they had sex.
I found out about it a week ago and still have not forgiven him, but I am not ready to give up on my marriage for my kids sake. This just opened up old wounds. She is hurt by him too, he told her he was divorced.
What can I do about this? I love him so much and he loves me, but he is sick.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Dec. 12, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (14)
  • I use to live in Egypt and followed the muslim religion.... I fhe loved he would have cheated... i egypt if he wass caught doing that it is only punished by death... even today.... and acourding to the religion they will never be forgiven my alah.... but i feel for both u women... men like that should be punished
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • i beg to differ with the woman who says Allah will never forgive a cheating man. Where is the proof for that statement? the only sin Allah will Never forgive is the sin of saying He has partners or sons.
    honestly, you should call him back to his religion. if you continue to allow him to do this to you he will have no reason to stop. counseling might be in order.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • This is not a small problem. It goes to the core of your marriage. And your faith doesn't come into play here at all....there are rats of every religious stripe and sorry, but he's a rat. He cheated and LIED. You know about one incident where he had sex with another woman...but what might there be that you don't know? And remember...he lies so you cannot believe him.

    Staying together for the kids' sake is really the worst reason to stay in a bad marriage. They take their cues of what marriage should be like from the two of you. So do you want them to have the same life you have now?

    If nothing else, separate and insist that he get help. He also needs to get tested for STDs including HIV...you should get tested too.

    You may love him, but that's not enough. He is proving himself unworthy of your love. Value yourself a little more highly than to stay with someone who treats your love like yesterday's trash.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:19 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • The only sin that can't be forgiven is blasphemy against the Holy Ghost.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • In our religion if a husband did that and was not repentant he would be disfellowshipped and the wife has the right to divorce him. the Bible says if a Brother (a Brother in Faith can also be your husband) sins and you know it that you are to confront him so that he will see the error and repent if you see and do nothing you can become a sharer with him in his sin by hiding it.This would be in harmony with Leviticus 5:1


    Christian married couples also need to be careful that they do not violate God’s laws by covering over each other’s serious sins. They should remember the case of Ananias and Sapphira, who conspired but unsuccessfully sought to cover over serious sin. (Acts 5:1-11)

    lisarose45

    Answer by lisarose45 at 4:16 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • You shouldn't stay in a marriage just because you have kids. Your kids will be worse off seeing you miserable all the time, your husband broke his vows and even if you forgive him he will most likely do it again. Since he has no trouble telling the other women that he's divorced I would make it a reality, you and your kids will be much better off.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 6:56 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • As a wife that still loves her husband, do you want a divorce? do you feel that God can heal him? If you forgive him and are willing to be patient until something changes that's your choice. It's a brave one, but you are the one that has to make the final decision.
    Sis.Jackson

    Answer by Sis.Jackson at 8:35 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • Children would rather be from a broken home than to live in one. My parents did not have a healthy marriage. My father was an alcoholic and a cheater. They would scream and fight like crazy. Till this day it has affected me. Dr. Phil says it will change who your children are - I agree with that. Maybe you guys should seperate for now. Divorce needn't happen right away.

    Saying your husband is sick is very convenient for him. Maybe his is just a cheater that does not respect your marriage. Leave the other woman out of it - this is between you and your husband. Maybe the guy will change, but likely not. Personally, this would be a deal breaker for me - the guy could give you AIDS!

    You deserve better. Seperate and try to work it out, but then move on if you need to.
    Gypsyuma

    Answer by Gypsyuma at 9:17 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • Does he love you - or does he SAY he loves you? My husband loves and respects me and would never do something like this. I was quite clear at the beginning that this is one of the things I simply would not tolerate. No chances. No apologies. Do it and we're through. The best way to teach my daughters how they should be treated is for them to see my husband treating me right. If that stops - so does our marriage. In return he gets the same from me.
    b_cheerful

    Answer by b_cheerful at 9:54 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • simple smileMy first husband cheated on me. Religion did not make me trust my husband once I knew that he had cheated numerous times. My heart was broken and my self esteem was destroyed. I wondered why was'nt I enough for him. He hurt me to the deepest depth of my being. He was a sex addict and there was no way I could stay with him. I still love this man and wish him well 20 yrs later. He is still morally corrupt and void of emotional stability. Your husband sounds like he has the same traits as my ex...the phone, the internet, flirting openly. You need to send him to therapy regardless of what religon you are. Sex addiction is as dangerous as drug and alcohol addiction and a 12 step program exists with plenty of free support for both you and your husband.

    ETxYaya

    Answer by ETxYaya at 9:56 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

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