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How can I get DH to take care of himself more?

I'm very sad to admit that I'm not physically attracted to my husband anymore.

He doesn't shower for days, he doesn't brush and barely knows how to floss. He won't shave, clean the booger out of his eyes, put anything in his hair to keep it from being so dry, put lotion on (he is a darker shade) and.. TMI but he won't groom down there either.
Good Lord. I try to set the example by keeping up with my hygiene.
Often times, I don't even want to kiss him! and he's sooo confused as to why. It's been days since we made love, only because the last time we did, his arm pits smelled and it seriously made me gag.
I've already talked to him about it, it's not like his full time job is an excuse NOT to keep up.
I work, go to school and take care of our daugher single handedly. So I don't know why he's sooo lazy about it.
I need some serious advice. Cause TO BE HONEST I'd rather be with a man who did it for himself (and me), than to impress me and mislead me until we got married.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:03 PM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • is he depressed? is this effecting his job and interaction with others? he sounds like he needs an exam/evaluation.

    Answer by dullscissors at 7:08 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Sounds to me like there is something wrong with him. Could he be going through some sort of depression? I would sit down and have a heart to heart about how he is feeling mentally, emotionally. Laziness and uncleanliness can be signs of depression. I would look into that, and go from there.

    Answer by Tarrar at 7:10 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • men.. my ex got like that after we were together for a while and it is soo gross and such a turn off i would ask daily if he showered and if he wanted to have sex i told him when he got out the shower we would i cant stand bad hygiene EEWWWWW!


    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 7:11 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I agree that there's a good chance this is depression. DH went through about 2 YEARS of this after he lost his job (that he planned to have until retirement). It was AWFUL. I was pregnant, then a new mom, and nursing his bruised ego and dealing with my own job deciding not to take me back from maternity leave. I feel ya. It took some tough love, and honestly, telling him that his lack of hygiene was THE reason he wasn't getting any! Who wants to sleep with someone like that, or kiss them? We still have some battle with this, it's not perfect, but it's gotten WAY better. He's still looking for work, so his ego is definitely not where it used to be (wow, I miss that guy...). Let him know you want to make this work, but it's getting in the way of your marriage, and unless some things change, you don't see this working out. Maybe even some counseling would help. Good luck!

    Answer by musicpisces at 7:17 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Ewww, that is nasy. I feel bad for you. I would just be straight up about it. Tell him that you aren't attracted to him anymore and you don't want to be intimate with someone that is dirty and can't brush their teeth. Seriously, depressed or not, that is just nasty.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 7:50 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • i think he may be depressed maybe he is dealing with finances or a loss? If he feels like he carries the family by himself? I would say just be honest about it and let him kno that he needs to shower daily etc..if he wants to be intimate..and tell him that you feel you are growing apart some..see if that helps..counseling may also help. GL!

    Answer by Heather021287 at 8:33 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

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