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What do you think? adult content

When me and my DH had just started dating I offered a ride to a guy I had a relationship with in HS. He saw me at a book store and was trying to get to WalMart, since it was 100 degrees outside and he was a bike I agreed to take to him to WalMart. After the trip to WM, he asked if I wanted to eat at Chili's because he was hungry. I didn't really want to, but I was pretty starving so I agreed if we paid for our own food and if he would leave me alone afterwards. I had just moved in with my DH at the time and needed to go back to his apartment to get money. I told my ex to stay outside of the apartment because I didn't want to disrespect my DH by inviting him in. While I was getting my money, he came into the room. I yelled at him to get out and tried to get past him to leave..hoping he would follow. Instead he pushed me on the bed and pinned me down. He knew that I couldn't stand to be pinned down and would freak out..in turn doing anything he asked to get him off of me. He told me if I put his penis in my mouth for a few seconds he would get off. I told him no and tried to fight him, but he was three tiems my size..eventually I gave in because I was about to have a panic attack. I told my DH everything that had happened..he said he believed me, but later I found out that he really didn't. We stayed together and got married. This all happened 3 years ago.
A few weeks ago I caught my DH chatting with women on Yahoo Messenger trying to get pictures of them to jack off to since I'm pg and don't really feel like having sex much(I'm in my 3rd trimester and miserable..bad round ligament pain and back pain). He said that he hadn't had chat sex or webcammed with anyone..yet. He had only been doing it for a week before I caught him.
When I confronted him he threw what I had done 3 years ago in my face and said that I had cheated on him, so I couldn't be mad at him for cheating on me(he used the word cheating, not me).
When my situation happened with my ex, me and my DH were just in a casual relationship..I was leaving in less than 2 months to join the Navy(which ended up not happening), and thought that our relationship would end then and never go anywhere..which is what he thought too. The only reason he asked me to move in was because he didn't know how to cook and wanted available vagina, and I agreed because I needed to get away from my mother. When he talked to these women and fantasized about them we were in a committed relationship. We had starting building a life together, and had children together. I just don't think that the two situation compare. I know what I did was wrong..I should have never agreed to giving an ex a ride, but at least I told him what had happened and didn't try to hide it from him like he was doing to me.
Should I feel as crappy as I do? I have felt terrible about what happened for 3 years now, and now it keeps getting thrown in my face I feel even worse. My DH has me feeling like I shouldn't have gotten mad at him for chatting and that if I would just have sex with him none of that would have happened..so everything seems to be fault.
Sorry for such a long post..just need to know what outsiders think of this.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:11 PM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • wow that is a bunch to take in.. he needs to get over the stuff from the past. and he can get porn instead of talking to women to get their pix. porn is always better quality too lol
    danichaos

    Answer by danichaos at 8:18 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I'm not sure what advice to give you, but I definitely want to say I'm sorry. Anything you do behnid your partners back is cheating. Thats how I feel. It was good of you to let him know what happened. It's sad that he'd throw you being raped in your face to make himself feel justified, which is not right. He knows theres no excuse.
    Ashleigh_17

    Answer by Ashleigh_17 at 8:26 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Whoa. I think that no matter what happened, or how it happened, he chose to put it aside and stay with you anyways, so throwing in your face years later is off limits. He is trying to find an excuse for his behavior. Its totally unacceptable, and basically cheating. And, just because you dont feel like sex is NO excuse for him to be seeking other women. I would be pissed... and you have a right to be.
    Tarrar

    Answer by Tarrar at 8:31 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • You should have let your ex pass out from heat exhaustion rather than bother with him. That does not give your husband an open ended invitation to cheat on you. I would tell him to fuck off. If he is holding this over you I would look into leaving as soon as the baby is born.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 8:45 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I agree with Tarrar. He chose to stay with you and build a life with you. He should never have told you that he believed you if he didnt. And he shouldnt be throwing it in your face years later. You not having sex with him his not an excuse for him to be chatting with other women. I'm also in my 3rd trimester (35 weeks) and I'm always to tired and sore and just plain miserable to have sex with my hubby and he would never do that.
    SMG1120

    Answer by SMG1120 at 8:48 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I have tried telling him that he chose to stay with me, and he knows that I am sorry for what happened (whether it was my fault or not). And I have done nothing but try to gain his trust back since all that happened, and that I don't really feel like the 2 situations compare since I didn't willingly cheat on him. He doesn't see what he did as cheating, and it's not really..but then again in a way it is. He says that he didn't physically do anything with any of the women, and that I am the cheater in the relationship so I shouldn't be mad and I shouldn't not trust him. I don't want to leave him..I love him, and our son loves him. I wish we could work through this, but he doesn't act like he wants to make things up to me and work to earn my trust back like I did with him. I'm just frustrated and stressed :(
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:17 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I think it's a bit petty of him to say "Oh you cheated on me so it's ok for me to cheat on you" I would ask him to stop and masturbate to porn if he wants to get off.
    -Tiffany-

    Answer by -Tiffany- at 12:32 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

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