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Bff trying to come back into my life, what to do?

My friend and I were best friends for 5 yrs, there for each other, well sorta...she is always there to talk over the phone or if you came to her house but she never made the effort to come to my house. I use to live in the same city as her, and she rarely went to my house but when I moved 30 min away she was the same way. So the fact that I moved further didn't change anything. I always had to make the extra effort because she wouldn't. I asked her about it and she said she's selfish and that's why she doesn't make the effort to drive to me because I did it and she didn't have to. Well then stooped going the extra mile and just gave her what she gave me. So our friendship wasn't as close because of it. Well Jan 1,2011 she had her sons 3rd bday party at 5pm. My dd stayed at my moms house the night before, which is an hr away from me (30 min from her) do I went to pick my dd up early around 9am. I also had a new years party that day at 1pm with my inlaws. My mom told me she was bleeding alot and she went to the emergency room under advisement of her doctor. My mom was babysitting my 4 nieces so she asked if i can stay and watch them. Of course I did but had to cancel my plans at 1pm and also called my bff and left a message to let her know what was going on in case it interfered in the dinner that night. Around 4:45pm my friend calls me and acts like she didn't hear the message but sounds pissed. She asks if I'm coming or not and I told her the situation again like I did on her voice message. I could t bring 5 kids with me and my mom was still in the hospital. She was pissed and basically hung up on me. I called her later around 7 when my mon arrived from hospital and was trying to come by to spend time with them since I missed most of the party. No answer. I call two days after that, no answer. Then I called again that day and we spoke. She said it was a good reason foe me not being able to go but yet she was still pissed about it. I told her if she can't understand then there's nothing to talk about and she basically stop taking to me. She now friend requested me on Facebook. I sent her a text and said if you want to be "friends" again we need to talk first.

Would you talk to your best friend again after that?

I have mixed emotions, I missed her but I am extremely hurt that she couldn't see the situation better. I mean I had canceled my whole day and take care of a 3 month old, two 2 yr olds, a 5 yr old and a 10 yr old which was hard and was stressed about my mom. How could she act this way??

 
ProudMammaMia

Asked by ProudMammaMia at 9:40 PM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,619 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • People are a trip...don't even try to figure her out right now. The ball is in her court now, so just see what happens. If she agrees to talk about things and you two work it out then that's good. If she doesn't respond or has a bad attitude then just tell her it's probably best to just be done with the friendship and move on.
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 9:49 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • life is short, forgive and forget, perhaps just be more casual about it,, at least you know what your dealing with!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:47 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • She is very selfish, she doesn't go to your house because you go to hers so she feels she doesn't have to go out her way to go to yours & then she gets mad because you missed her sons party because your mom is in the hospital, like really?! Selfish people never change & I wouldn't want a friend like that actually that's so not a friend personally I would just tell her to kick rocks & I wouldn't be her friend anymore, I will forgive & forget but doesn't mean I HAVE to be her friend. But at the end it's your choice sweetie GL.
    VanillaBlondie8

    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 10:12 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • ok i read the question
    i would personally be friends if you like her but im not in your shoes
    worse stuff has happened between me and my bff like her not talking to me for a year
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 3:38 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Sithpadawans wow what a bitch you are! You assume too much!! My sister came home from work and my dad was home too. So I didn't need to stay, if my sister is there to take care of her kids. My mom has absolutely no room in her house for us to stay if we wanted to. So really your disgusting!! For acting like a child and handling this question like such a jerk! You need to grow the fuck up! and besides my mom was fine! It was just precaution to go to the ER, I on the otherhand needed to drive an hour home to get to my Meds because of a medical condition I have. So really you should retreat and back off on judging people because you don't know what your talking about! Your a nut job!
    ProudMammaMia

    Comment by ProudMammaMia (original poster) at 4:51 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • She sounds like a needy, selfish person. Who would want to be friends with her! I would just let her go! A true friend would have been by your side ASAP in this situation, not be angry because you couldn't make her party. I'd just leave it alone.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:26 AM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • Wrong again, but once again you can't just stop nit picking and you must insult again to validate yourself! You don't know the situation and I don't need to explain every single thing to you. Second the last thing I was concerned about was being ego stroked about helping my family. I had to explain that in order for others to understand why my friend is mad and why I couldn't be there for her. If you noticed no one applauded me about that and I don't expect nor want it. So again stop assuming. If I really came off that way more people would have probably said it too. But of course you have to nit pick and find something mean to say. Whatever I'm not going back and forth with you. You turned this question upside down. Not cool
    ProudMammaMia

    Comment by ProudMammaMia (original poster) at 1:11 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • You deleted your response??! Awesome!
    ProudMammaMia

    Comment by ProudMammaMia (original poster) at 1:13 PM on Jun. 21, 2011

  • don't have time to read the question but if you like her but resent her, be her friend but
    if you don't even like her but resent her, don't
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 11:47 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I wouldn't have someone so selfish and toxic in my life that couldn't understand that my own mother was in the hospital and that I wasn't going to a stupid party. Family comes first or don't any of you unicorns on this post realise that? And why on earth would you try calling her after your mom got home? Why wouldn't you stay the night and help still with the other kids instead of just leaving it all to her? I think you and your bff need to grow the fuck up and stop being so selfish. Doing that to your own parent was beyond rude and I am ashamed of you. How would feel if your children had done that? Or your mother to you? Or your husband? That is just beyond bullshit on both parts. I am disgusted.
    Sithpadawans

    Answer by Sithpadawans at 11:53 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

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