Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Dealing w/ another woman trying to play mom w/ my kids... adult content

I'll try to keep this short....
My ex husband's gf has been telling everyone that my children are her children when introducing herself, even when I'm right there beside them. She wears shirts to their softball games sporting "X's mom" and starts drama with me while I'm trying to watch their games. She's constantly bad mouthing me to my kids and in general just being stupid. I keep trying to talk to their dad but all he says is he'll take care of it...yeah right. She's been around for almost three years, and still cannot spell my oldest daughter's full name correctly, which really pissed me off when we got ball pics back and it was incorrect b/c of her ignorance. I do my best to keep my cool, but it's getting old fast. It tears the girls apart b/c they just want to see their dad, who is hardly ever home (and yes they stay w/ him the majority of the time for now). I just want to flick her in the eye or bash her head in with a ball bat. What should I do? Keep taking the high road, which is healthier for all involved, and hope that it'll get better? Or when she starts shit, start it back??? IDK!

Answer Question
 
cardingtonlizzy

Asked by cardingtonlizzy at 9:41 PM on Jun. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (45 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • why does your ex husband have the kids the majority of the time? and you shouldnt want her talking sh*t but you should want her loving your kids like they are your own. i dont think kids can have enough love in their lives. i wish my ex would find someone to love the girls and support them like i do.
    julie.f

    Answer by julie.f at 9:45 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • try to calmly talk to her. you can get the court to have all parties sign a parenting contract stating that no one will bad mouth any parent infront of the kids.
    dragonlady320

    Answer by dragonlady320 at 9:46 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Our court system here decided that since he is self employed and she doesn't work, I work 45 hrs a wk, that his home was a more "stable" home. She was my best friend, then decided to get w/ him and it's been hell since. I love my kids dearly and want only the best for them. It breaks my heart that they aren't having the childhood they should b/c he & she fight constantly.
    cardingtonlizzy

    Comment by cardingtonlizzy (original poster) at 9:48 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I have tried to talk calmly to her and explain that when both of us are around that I'm the one in charge & not her b/c I am their mom. She gets an attitude then and starts running her mouth. I know that I need to be the bigger person for the sake of my kids, but it's getting harder and harder to do.
    cardingtonlizzy

    Comment by cardingtonlizzy (original poster) at 9:50 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • the best way to go about this is take it to court and have it put in writing that NO one is to bad mouth the parent (mother/father) in front of the children ever....
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:51 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • thats horrible!! im so sorry for that. i would try to get something court ordered about behavior of people you/ex-husband have around the kids. besides trying to talk t her or your ex i dnt know hat else you could do
    julie.f

    Answer by julie.f at 9:51 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Going to court wouldn't help. In the custody papers for her own daughter, alcohol is not to be in either parent's residence, but her bf(my ex) drinks like a fish. They don't care what the court says...
    cardingtonlizzy

    Comment by cardingtonlizzy (original poster) at 9:53 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Be the bigger person. I know its hard but trust me, my parents put my sis and i thru so much when they divoreced..talking bad about each other etc...Your children will thank you for being the bigger person one day. But ur ExH should talk to her about it..the shirt could say Childs stepmom..but not mom i mean u r there to that has to be embarrassing..and if she didnt know how to spell ur DD name ur ex should have corrected it on the pics..
    Heather021287

    Answer by Heather021287 at 9:53 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Well he pretty much lets her run the house. He says he talks to her about it but God knows if he does. He tried to tell me that my daughters wanted her to put MOM on the shirts, but both girls told me diff. Sorry but if I was dating someone w/ kids i'd've put X's fan or something like that. Bottom line is she has no respect for me and that makes her a sad pitiful woman...
    cardingtonlizzy

    Comment by cardingtonlizzy (original poster) at 9:56 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • The court really can't do a lot about bad mouthing. It's he said/she said and it's a hard violation to prove. But you could try it.

    If you are going to start shit back, which it sounds like it may be coming, don't do it in front of the kids.
    marybeth927

    Answer by marybeth927 at 11:38 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN