Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

What can I do about an ex-wife?

The problem is she only wants to be a mom when it suits her. I can deal with that. I am just tired of the games she plays with her son and my husband just wants to ignore it. A person can only take so much!!! I would really rather not have to talk with her but have to because of my husbands job. I love my step son very much!!!!, and don't want to do what she is doing. Sorry this is such a mess but hard to put in words.

Answer Question
 
tarameigs

Asked by tarameigs at 11:42 PM on Jun. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (31 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • What games is she playing with her son?
    marybeth927

    Answer by marybeth927 at 11:46 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Yes, what are the games? Is she mentally abusing him? How old is the stepson? If he is in his teens he can usually chose to live with you, you just have to go to court and get the paperwork done.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • He is 12. She makes it hard for him to like me. Kind of like if he talks about what goes on here he shouldn't because if I were not here she would be. She left way before I met my husband.
    tarameigs

    Comment by tarameigs (original poster) at 11:53 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • We do have custody. I feel wrong if I don't let them speak!! To me that would be just as bad
    tarameigs

    Comment by tarameigs (original poster) at 11:55 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • He is old enough that I think you could have a talk with him and just let him know that his mom and dad were divorced before you were involved and you love him and his father very much, but his mom just doesn't like you very much. Let him know that some of the things she says are simply said out of anger or hurt and he should try to ignore the things she says about you. I'd also let him know that if it makes him uncomfortable telling her about things that happen in your home, he doesn't have to. He can tell her he doesn't want to talk about it or he can blame it on you and dad and say dad doesn't want me to discuss it.
    marybeth927

    Answer by marybeth927 at 11:58 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • if he wants to talk to his mom then let him ..but he doesnt have to if he doesnt want to and if she is playing mind games like this it is mental abuse and you need to talk to a social worker they can give you advise...also he is old enough to tell the courts that he doesnt wnt to see or speak to his mom and you can prob ask the courts to have him evaluated by a court shrink to see if it is in his best interest to not have any contact wit his mom......good luck
    rachel216

    Answer by rachel216 at 12:01 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I have and I did again. I try and reassure him I am not here to take her place, and if he didn't want talk about things to just tell and go to another subject! Just maybe needed reassurance myself. LOL My husband just tries to ignore it. Thank you!
    tarameigs

    Comment by tarameigs (original poster) at 12:02 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Yes, he should be allowed to talk to her, and you can't control the garbage she spews at him, but you can tell him your side too. I would explain your side once, and then don't say anything about her again unless he brings it up. For one, you have no reason to have to defend yourself constantly to him; doing that will only make you seem at fault. Also, he will see that you are above the pettiness (since while his mom is making digs at you, you won't be doing anything but being a positive influence in his life) and he will probably trust you even more in the long run.
    CarriePM

    Answer by CarriePM at 12:07 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Keep a journal for court.
    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 12:09 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • We have a similar situation. I would take the high road and make your home and time with him super positive. Where he gets so much negative stuff from his mom he needs to have a place where he feels comfortable and not on edge. Kids arent stupid and he will figure it out. Karma will catch up with her.
    cluemein

    Answer by cluemein at 1:57 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN