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Why as Women do we do this?

Why do we feel we need to cut someone down to feel better about ourselves? I just don't get it. Why do we have to try and one up them on their stories or make their troubles not so bad. We are ALL here for support, help and a safe place to vent. I have only been on here a short time and there are some ladies who just need to take a step back. Would you want to be judged the way you are judging? Would you want to hear those negative comments if you were in that situation? My momma taught me "if you don't have something nice to say, then DON'T say it!" If there is a post I have read that I completely disagree I go to the next question or comment. When I post I try and give my opinion, without bashing the other woman. I have even been in some of the same places they are in. BUT, until you have walked a mile in their shoes and are going through what they are going through don't be hateful. Even if you have been in their shoes, we all need to support each other and help them through their struggle. To find out what they should do in their specific situation.

Not trying to start a debate or hateful comments. Just want to know why we as women think this is the best way? Because, I for one do not agree with it. Thanks for reading.


Asked by SweetPea726 at 11:42 PM on Jun. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,366 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I think it has something to do with maturity. Young women, think teenagers, are very competitive and very judgemental. As we get older we learn to appreciate our sisters, be they actual sisters, friends, mothers, daughters, cousins, or friends. We learn that we need our sisters to be there for us, and they need us. God knows kids make us crazy, and men aren't much better, but we need each other's love and support.

    Answer by judimary at 11:48 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • bow downWell said !!


    Answer by LeJane at 11:45 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I believe that the women who take part in such immature behavior, are frustrated because cafemom is the only place where they are free to have an

    Answer by soldierluvr0407 at 11:54 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Amen!

    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 11:45 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • Unfortunately, some women are just that way. I find this to be true not just on CM, but among my friends too. it could be maturity level or they think that they are just an honest person who gives their honest opinion, but they don't realize they are hurting someone's feelings, specially when that person needs their support. I just ignore the mean comments on this site, because they way I look at it, they don't know me well enough to judge me.

    Answer by Ashoonik at 11:59 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • It's not just women. Men are the same way. I think it's in our nature when we are a certain age ... the "competitive gene". We compete for the best mates and it goes on from there. Once we are in a relationship (found the ideal mate), we (most of us) don't feel the need to compete and we suppress that particular trait. And then there are the "others" for whom that trait never disappears. They are the catty biotches that everyone hates to be around.

    Of course, my hubby has said that women are just pure evil. We are sweet and friendly to your face and then once the other woman's back is turned, our claws and horns come out. *grin*

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 12:19 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • And this is why I say my comments out loud and think "if you can't post anything nice, just don't do it".

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 12:24 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • judimary2 I agree with you. I was wondering if that meant I was getting old? lol Because I just don't agree with it. Never have, but as I get older it just irks me more.

    Comment by SweetPea726 (original poster) at 11:53 PM on Jun. 15, 2011

  • I agree we arent here to be smart .....

    Answer by Sarah961 at 12:01 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • spiritedwitch your right. And your comment made me laugh:) thanks

    Comment by SweetPea726 (original poster) at 12:22 AM on Jun. 16, 2011