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Children and manners

Have you noticed how children these days have no manners? Since dd started school (she just finished third grade) so many moms and teachers at school have told me that she has such good manners and always says "please", "thank you", and says hi to adults first. I volunteer a lot in school and notice that so many kids NEVER say "thank you". also, they always expect the adult to say hi to them first. When I was young my parents tought us that children should always say hi to the adults they know. I don't know, but in my opinion I think it's rude for a child to wait for her friend's mom to say hi to her.


Asked by Ashoonik at 12:09 AM on Jun. 16, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • I love this question! I always talk about how kids these days don't have manners or respect for that matter. They are so different from how we were raised. Full of attitude and like you said, they expect us adults to say hello, good morning, goodnight first. They don't say excuse me, thank you, or please as much anymore either. I have had to remind my own children to use their manners that I have instilled in them. My baby girl is by far the most well mannered lil girl...but the older ones try to act like their they were never taught any.

    Answer by geminisummerz at 12:30 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • My daughter has always said please and thank you and she just turned 4 a week ago. Ever since she started talking we taught her those basics. And we show her the same respect. If we ask her to do something we say please will you and always say thank you when she does it, she will say your welcome. If she tries to ask for something or demand something we tell her that she needs to ask right before we give it to her. Usually when she demands something I just say "what, I cant hear you" and she'll then ask with a please in the question. As for saying hi to people she is still kinda really shy so she doesnt talk much around people unless she really knows them well.

    Answer by SMG1120 at 12:22 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • My kids are in cotillion where they teach them appropriate greetings, how to make small talk, etc. I taught my kids that a one word answer is not acceptable. Yes and no should always be followed by another word - yes please, no thank you, yes sir, no ma'am.

    Answer by missanc at 1:21 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Definitely agree about the "please" and "thank you" issue. Those are things I taught my son early. I even taught him to hold the door for people (not just ladies).

    As for the kids saying "hi" to adults first ... I'm not sure about that. Do you really want your kid to just say "hi" to any adult? I don't think so. Now, if the adult is a friend's parent and they (kids) have been friends for a while ... it shouldn't matter whether the adult or the kid says "hi" first. Also, keep in mind that many kids are shy.

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 12:29 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • DS USED to know manners. I have to remind him alllll the time now. Some of us try and it just doesn't work.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • It shocks me how many kids don't have manners now a days. Our toddlers have better manners than most older kids. I find it sad.

    Answer by laird6372 at 3:07 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I'm sorry if I wasn't clear, but I didn't mean just any adult. I meant people they know. For example when my daughter comes out of school at the end of the day and she sees me standing there with her friends' moms, she always says hi to them. They think she is very polite and many of them have told me that every time they see her on campus or when they are volunteering, she always says "hi Mrs. -------"

    Comment by Ashoonik (original poster) at 12:33 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Manners are modeled. Kids learn what they see. If adults are not being polite it makes it difficult to get kids to be so. My kids say please and thank you. They say excuse me. They say "You're welcome." They may not address an adult they know first. My son is extremely shy, especially with adults. He's not rude, he's just quiet. My DD is more likely to say hello - but not always first. Then again, that was never a big 'manners' thing in our area. I've never heard there was a proper order of greeting before and wouldn't think to instill it in my kids. We do recognize there are people we know but who 'goes first' is not age dictated.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 8:10 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I've never heard there was a proper order of greeting before and wouldn't think to instill it in my kids. We do recognize there are people we know but who 'goes first' is not age dictated. [idmrmom]

    Nice to see I am not the only one who had not heard of this.


    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 11:10 AM on Jun. 16, 2011