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Absolutely true situation...would you stay?

We have been married for 17 years we have a 9 yr old daughter. Since 2002 my husband has bounced from job to job. Whenever this happens it is not because of anything he does but always someone else has not done something right. We have started 3 different businesses only to lose every single time. 3 years ago we moved to a beautiful new home in a ideal location for us and our dd.. We put $10,000 as a down payment a year later due to someone else we moved out and just walked away from the $. We found another home within a few miles another beautiful new home I loved, well another business failure and blame elsewhere we moved again. Renting this time, we were in this house for 2 weeks and noticed mold and bacteria in the water, and no heat this was in February, the management company would not fix it even after serving legal notice, so 2 weeks ago we go to small claims court and 4 days later a sherriffs notice is posted on the home for no trespassing! We go to court again in a couple of weeks but now we are in a hotel with very few of our things! All I can think is if only he would just maintain employment all this time we would not be here. I talk to him and each and every time he says he will make it better make it right, all he wants is for us to be together. I have continuously maintained employment but I can not and am now refusing to do it all by myself! I have not worked in the last 2 weeks and so there will be no paycheck next week, funds are extremely low and frankly I am scared. This situation is so ridiculous but my reality. I am afraid of what tomorrow will bring. Thankfully our daughter loves hotel and thinks this is fun.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:01 AM on Jun. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I am so sorry, do you have a stable family relative that you and your daughter could stay. You have to let him know that you are not okay being bounced around with unstability. Let him Know. If he needs a reality check, give him one. It might help.
    Ashleigh_17

    Answer by Ashleigh_17 at 2:11 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Hugs!! I can see why you would be stressed out and upset, and I think it is time to have long talk with him and explain how you feel, how finances are, and how you are so stressed and worried about it all. Tell him that his promises do not mean anything, that he needs to step up and do something NOW because you can't do it all yourself anymore and he needs to start being responsible and do his fair share. I would also let him know that you are very close to walking out, and not coming back. I hope things work out!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:12 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Guess i:d tell him what my Grandma used to say"Get the big ball rollin boy:!
    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 2:23 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • are you questioning the relationship just because it's rocky?
    i lived in a motel for 6 months during a transition between switching houses, it was fun for us kids and nothing to be ashamed of. i would stay for your daughter, that's what marriage is all about sticking through the hard times, it will bring you and your husband closer at the end of it. don't worry it won't last forever this way! good luck with the courts and all that, i know how draining that can be.
    sell your stuff on ebay and start a new life but remain married you promised you would, don't want to break a promise, plus why is all this his fault? it's neither or your faults, financial strain is common don't let it interfere with LOVE. you know johnny cash's song "you can have it all...my empire of dirt" just sing that hope it helps
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 3:08 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • tell him your DD need stability for her education,sports,friends,.... I dont understand the courts when your home was not livable,did u not pay rent?
    RobinChristine

    Answer by RobinChristine at 4:02 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Yes rent was paid, we took them to small claims because the water was ruining everything and they refused to fix anything.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:49 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • You said you can get a job? than do it. Your daughter needs stability.

    Your husband may need professional help to see what up with him?

    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:15 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • get on welfare, apply for public housing and go to a shelter. Get a job and and just worry about you and your dd and stop doing the blame game. It is just as much your fault as his. You have a job and you should have been able to budget for the tough times. You know how and what he is after 17 yrs of marriage. Quit with the businesses and just deal with keeping things stable.
    Sithpadawans

    Answer by Sithpadawans at 12:44 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

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