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3 Bumps

Working mom vs stay at home mom...

I'm absolutely torn.. i have a decent job and i like my job... but my DH keeps saying that he & our 19mo DD would like me to stay home instead.. If we had more stable income, I might be more inclined to be like ok! but I don't I'm not comfortable with having just income from DH and bcuz he's self employed, it's not stable either.. sigh.. I don't know what to do... DH says if I stay home, he'd be able to work better too and will make enough for the family... I believe him and I love my DD but giving up my job is soo hard too... help pls. are you a stay @ home mom or working mom. how do you like it

Answer Question

Asked by urban_baybee at 2:24 AM on Jun. 16, 2011 in Money & Work

Level 10 (456 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • I am a work mom it is hard because i do not get to spend the day with my 12month old son but it is nice when I come home and i see the big smile in his face to see me. I also l

    Answer by roxy0522 at 2:28 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • sorry my son press a button but i was saying I also love the fact that I do not have to depend on my husband to buy something and like you said it helps economically

    Answer by roxy0522 at 2:29 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • being a Sahm is almost harder than a working mom, believe me. is there anyway you can go down to part time??

    Answer by leksismommy at 2:30 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Don"t think j would guit but ask for a leave,if you cant make it wont take your husband long to see that.
    Hope this makes sense.

    Answer by Sarah961 at 2:50 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I love staying at home with my son, I am very lucky that I can. I believe it is the natural place for any mother, but in this economy it's just not practical 100% of the time. I will soon have a job, I am current moving cities so our family is going through major changes. I am worried that it will be hard to adjust, both ds and I.
    Good luck mama I hope you and your family can find an arrangement that benefits all of you!

    Answer by kazmia at 2:51 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I have been a SAHM long enough!!  After so many years of staying at home and being bored when my boys are at someone else's house or my husband is taking them out. I want to at least have a part time job. My son will be going to preschool this fall and my husband is very flexible in his schedule so it works out. Plus the extra money could help out A LOT!


    Answer by momavanessa at 3:05 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Taking time off work to be with kids (or for other personal reasons) is a huge decision, as you have already noted, because of the uncertainty associated with 'jumping back in.' There are so many relevant factors (your profession, your location, and the length of time you expect to be out, e.g.) that it's hard to give a blanket assurance that your re-entry will be smooth or easy. If you're committed to the personal benefits associated with jumping off the treadmill for a period of time, that's a huge piece of the equation. "The Feminine Mistake" and other books have noted the financial risks associated with leaving the paid workforce for a long period.

    It matters a lot how you spend your time while you're away. If you keep a hand in the action via a volunteer role, a bit of consulting, or a part-time job, you're in a better spot re-entry-wise than if you take your professional hat off entirely. Best of luck with your decision

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:45 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I am also a husband is a self employed contractor and we have 7 children...5 are 17 and up but I have 2 little guys 3 and 4 1/2. I have always stayed home while my kids were little. Then when they got school age, I worked (I am a jeweler/gemologist by trade) Then, when I got pregnant with my 4 1/2 yr old, I officially retired. I got bored a bit being home to tell you the truth, not bored with being a SAHM, but I wanted some big girl time. So, I decided to get into direct sales, Tastefully Simple to be exact, and got out one night a week to do a party. We got pregnant again....and I am still doing TS, almost 4 yrs later and LOVE it!! I get the best of both worlds...staying home, raising my kids AND make money and get out and have big-girl time. This is a personal choice for you....but, why not give it a shot?? You can always get a job...but children grow up so fast, you don't want to miss that :-) Best wishes!!

    Answer by joinTStoday at 7:19 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • What you could do is tell your husband that you will re-evaluate staying home vs. Working 6 months from now. In the mean time, put your paycheck into a savings account to see if you could get by on just his income. Six months from now, if you have had to dip into that savings constantly, then you know that you can't live off of just his income. However, if the majority of it is still there then you know that it is possible and you now have a savings to fall back on in case your husband has a bad work month.

    Answer by JeremysMom at 7:43 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I think it's beautiful that your husband is willing to work MORE and harder so that you can be home with your son. Ultimately it's up to you want to be home all day or are you the type of mom who needs more adult interaction? I became a SAHM with the birth of my second child. I LOVE it! This is from someone who never even wanted kids to begin with, now I can't be with them enough. When they were little, I used to get the house clean first thing in the morning and then take them out for a good portion of the groups, the park, the library, the beach, the gym, etc. Now they are both in school and I still have so many things to do that keep my day filled. I enjoy taking care of my family more than anything. I would go back to work if I had to, but since I don't have to and my husband likes having me home for him and the all works out.

    Answer by slw123 at 8:04 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

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