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How can I get my twins to stop disobeying me by drinking and sneaking out

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Asked by Butterfly323 at 5:41 AM on Jun. 16, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • it depends on their age. at 17 your only choice is to let them get caught for MIP and perhaps to spend some time in juvie or install an alarm system that goes off when windows or doors open. at 13 you need to sit down and talk to them about why they feel the need to sneak out and why they want to drink.. sure it is fun but normally there is another problem underneath it all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:45 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Their sixteen and thank you

    Comment by Butterfly323 (original poster) at 5:47 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • make them busy and come on up with some new rules in the house !!! if they dnt respect they'll bunished .. (not going out and take from them the best thing that they love ) BE STRONG ....

    Answer by caramelH at 6:26 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • What sort of consequences have you imposed up to this point? At 16, I'd revoke ALL privileges for such behavior and they would have to EARN them all back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Take away phones,computers and t.v. Ground them to the house! My sister used to do all that and my mom would tell her that is she is not going to respect the house rules then there is the door! She stopped really quick! Actually it was my dad that set down that rule!

    Answer by dancer at 8:02 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • The first poster has a wonderful idea, but nowadays will only end up backfiring. YOU will end up paying all the fines and such. I have a SD that not only got arrested for beating on me, but after moving in with her mother, running away and biting a cop. There is no juvie time, her crimes were not enough. That's only the beginning, there was a lot more. If children are not taught to respect the rules from the get go, they will walk all over you. That was her problem, she came to live with us when she was older. Make their punishment fit the crime. If they were out late drinking, get their butts up early in the morning and put them to work, if they are puking all over, all the better. Let them know they want to do grown up things, then they are going to act like a grown up. Meantime as others said, yes, take away everything if you have to, including their stylish clothes and put them in old man clothing.

    Answer by attap5 at 9:13 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I agree with attap, I would also suggest you send them to volunteer for MAAD. no questions asked, they need to get involved with something other than their wants or needs.

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:43 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Are they drinking at home and then sneaking out? Remove all liquor from home and keep track of them,....don't let them drink or leave. I knew my kids wouldn't have been able to sneak out----we kept an eye on them 24/7.
    They need consistent discipline. ANd maybe some family counseling would be good for all of you.

    Answer by minnesotanice at 9:49 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Do they play any sports? Get tough!! tough love is best... do you have the alcohol in your house? get rid of it (as someone else stated) I would start praying out loud while emptying every bottle and when they do something (include their names while praying)
    *just a thought - arrange for the doctor to see them and let him show them proof of what alcohol abuse does to the body *arrange a trip to a facility, you can even go to a judge and arrange for them to participate in a program if they have such a thing where you live. there are programs out there that can be implemented and you can be assured that all your efforts will not be in vein. WOW I know they are driving you crazy. Double trouble

    Girl... I will not tell you what I did to mine when they started acting out... scared them straight... Good Luck

    Answer by miamoma at 10:29 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • You people are insane. Sorry, but if they are 16, they are not children. Almost ready to leave home. If they sneak out and drink a bit at a party, that one thing. If they actually need to be drunk to deal, that is another. You will alienate these children. I too had an older sister. At 15 she started dating(against the rules of the house) and stayed out all night a few times. My parents were terribly worried, and came down on her. Grounded her for a week. Took away her ability to talk to her friends( I did sneak my phone into her, but her pride was hurt.) She has never forgiven my mom. She doesn't blame my dad, because it was my mom that instigated. Now my sister is in her thirties. She does not speak to our mother. Her kids do go see grandma, but its my dad or me that pick them up or drop them off. Be warned. They are nearly adults. They take SATs, and look at college. More responsibility deserves more freedom.

    Answer by martine1778 at 2:31 AM on Jun. 18, 2011

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