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Is cyber sex cheating? Tmi adult content

I accidently looked through DH emails the other day (I didn't realise he hadn't signed out) , and I found like 4 receipts from a site called, or something like that.

Anyway, I'm ok with porn, I even watch it myself sometimes, and we've watched it together, but this site is different, you can actually have sex with other people through it, you all have your own character, and you can do what you like to any other character. This really bothers me! When I watch porn, it's just watching, I don't involve anyone else!

Also, I didn't actually see how much he's spent, but it must be ALOT, money is tight at the moment, how dare he spend money on such sites! When I watch porn, it's from free sites.

I haven't said anything to him yet, I feel bad for reading his emails, though it was by accident! And I feel like I'm unable to tell him off because I also watch porn sometimes. And I don't even know where to begin yelling at him! I'm more upset than annoyed. Am I over reacting?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:47 AM on Jun. 16, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • it's emotional cheating depending how you look at it.

    The way I look at it, if he can't do it with you knowing about it because he knows it will upset you, it's cheating.

    as for his money spending, I would sit down and ask him whats going on and see if he is happy in the relationship or if there is something he is longing for that isn't there and see if you can work to meet in the middle.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I would consider that as cheating

    Answer by zombiemommy7 at 5:52 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • No you're not. If money is tight you have a right to be concerned. My SO and I discuss purchases and those priorities are important. There needs to be an agreement. This is a huge issue and relationships break up for this reason alone.
    On the other hand, the other site isn't porn. Let him know you're not thrilled with the idea of him partaking in the cyber thrills with or without real flesh. He needs to know you're uncomfortable with him spending time and sharing moments with other women. Explain you're not angry though he needs to know how you feel and how you found out. It probably never occurred to him it was an issue. Good Luck.

    Answer by chgomom at 5:54 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Yes, it is cheating, No you shouldn't feel bad and you should be able to look through all of his anything he has after all you are married. If it is making you feel uncomfortable in any way it is cheating. I would have a talk with him about it. Is there anyway to find out how much money he has spent? Good Luck!

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 6:20 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • yes its cheating.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 6:34 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • It's cheating to me, but he may think differently. Talk to him about it, admit seeing it was a mistake, and ask what he thinks about it. Your silence is only hurting you.

    Answer by kit_manson at 7:47 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I don't think you're overreacting at all. I think cyber sex is cheating, because he's thinking of that other person and all that jazz. I agree with kit manson- just talk to him about it. Tell him he left it open, and you couldn't help yourself when you saw some of the email senders names or whatever.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 8:17 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • It all depends on what you consider cheating. I would consider it cheating. I watch porn but if my husband was having cyber sex with another women behind his back I would be livid.

    Answer by Eisleysmommy27 at 11:09 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I agree that it is cheating and that you need to confront him about it. I would feel betrayed and I would hate that money was being spent on that kind of gross and crude activity. Sorry, but YOU are in the right and your DH is a jerk.

    Answer by minnesotanice at 11:10 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • yes in my mariage that would be cheating.

    Answer by notjstasocermom at 11:15 AM on Jun. 16, 2011