Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Father of son (my ex) arrested on Friday after a drug bust... Do you think I'll receive custody?

I was with my ex from March '07, until March of '09, during which time we had a son in Jan. '09. I left him in March 09, due to his extreme partying and drug use. There was a huge fight and the cops escorted me and my son out, and I moved into a 3 bedroom trailer that I rent from my parents. Right after we left, my ex went back to Ontario for 4 months, and during this time we did not hear from him. When he came back, I allowed visitation and we eventually got back together for about 3 months, until I found drugs in his bathroom and we broke up. This was July 2010. He has since not seen our son, except on MSN once about 4 months ago. He hasn't called or attempted to contact us in about 4 months. Last Friday, my ex was arrested and charged with Possession of $15 000 worth of Cocaine and some Marijuana. His trial is next week. In Spetember of 2008 he was charged with possession of Ecstacy. He has priors in Ontario for assault causing bodily harm and posession of illegal weapons. He also had a warrant in our town for an unrelated charge, and he still has an outstanding warrant from Ontario from 2006. He also spent 8 months in the Penetang Superprison in 2006, before I met him. My question is, would I be able to file for sole custody while he is going through his court process? Do you think he will be in jail for some time? It's not that I'm being spiteful, I could honestly care less about child support (which I have never received). It's more that I wish to be able to make all the decisions for our son if he is in jail for a while. And I want to be able to travel with our son without needing written permission from my ex. I would also like the add my last name onto our son's name. If you could give me any opinions or advice I would appreciate it. Thank you.

Answer Question
 
truelove88

Asked by truelove88 at 11:52 AM on Jun. 16, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I think you would have a very great shot of getting custody !
    2lilbumblebees

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 11:55 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I think its best for you to file for custody of your child. Your ex has some serious issues and is in your condition at this time to make decisions for your son.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:55 AM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I sure hope so if they give him back custody then there STUPID! but hey here in florida they laft a lil baby with the father who wasnt allowed contact and we know how that turned out ... stupid state!
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 12:00 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • same here,if and whenhe gets visits ask for supervised visits,that way he can't use drugs around your son
    RobinChristine

    Answer by RobinChristine at 12:00 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • IT sounds to me like you have a very good case for getting sole legal and physical custody. You could also try filing a legal name change and get his name taken completely off your son's name. I'd suggest a trip to your local courthouse and ask to be pointed in the right direction.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:05 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • In my experience, a year or more of incarceration plus NO child support can be legal grounds for termination of parental rights.
    soflashelley

    Answer by soflashelley at 12:26 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Thank everyone so much for your input! I will be calling a legal aid lawyer today!!
    truelove88

    Comment by truelove88 (original poster) at 12:28 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • If I was you I would get a lawyer and file for complete custody with no visitation rights at all, this person is not only a danger to himself, but to you and your son, get away and stay away, the guys bad news.
    Ajai

    Answer by Ajai at 12:44 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • For sure they will be giving you custody ofyour son!
    janee881

    Answer by janee881 at 3:30 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I think you will get custody. I am curious why you would be with someone you knew had been in prison and make a baby with him? Seems his past was fine until you split up. I can't imagine you didn't know he was using drugs prior to your sons birth. I think your judgement is questionable too and hope in the future you are more careful in who you are with. Thanks in advance for the vote downs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN