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Does anyone know what causes voyeursim? I really could use some help coming to terms with this! adult content

I posted a question last night, because I was just so stunned I didn't know what to do..My good friend and roomate from college died on Monday,, well at least that is what his sister told me when she called. BUT he killed himself, he was arressted on May 31st, for putting a camera in Starbucks in a Tampa unisex bathroom! He confessed to doing it on 6 different times! I cannot believe this is the person I was so close to,, he and I got back in touch after a few years, and he was now sober,, I am at a loss, of how he could do such a thing, and how I should feel about him now. I don't know what the cause of this is, I don't know what to say to his sister, mother, and wife,,,they told me he was killed by a drunk driver, and when I went to look for his address, tons of news came up with his picture on it, they don't know that I know what happened!


Asked by kimigogo at 12:06 PM on Jun. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 37 (91,454 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think people have those tendencies, but they don't manifest until something triggers them. And it probably didn't even start for him as a full blown putting the cameras in the bathroom. He probably had some kind of incident that activated his interest in it, then it slowly got out of hand until he was a full on creeper.

    You have to remember him for the man you knew, before the drinking and voyeurism stuff.

    I have an example...My dad had a good friend when I was a kid. The man was always a good upstanding citizen, good father and grandfather. He and my dad kinda lost touch. Then in the news there was a big story about him being a child abuser. It turns out that he was following behind a school bus and the kids were flipping him off and cursing at him. When the bus stopped he stopped too and got on the bus and grabbed the kids shirt and told him what a little shit he was being and that he should respect adults.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:30 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I think there is a cause. Something happens in their early childhood where they fixate on this behavior and never get over it (cross dressing, exhibitionism, fetishes, etc). Most young children are curious and might sneak around looking at others. Maybe he got caught and in major trouble and it had a deep long-lasting psychological affect. Any kind of deviation has a cause and it usually goes back to something happening when they are very young.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I agree there is no cause just the way people are.
    Do not say anything to his family about it, just continue to be there to comfort them thru this loss.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:16 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • He didn't hurt the kid, just scared him. What he did wasn't right, but he was an old school cowboy and that is how they did it when he was a kid. He was vilified in the news and was charged with child abuse. He spiraled into a deep depression and after two years of this, he killed himself.

    I still remember him as the nice guy he always was. He was a good friend to my dad and our family.

    Now back to your friend. Remember him as you knew him and for his family, don't tell them you know. They are already ashamed of his actions and their lying about the situation to you is part of how they are trying to cope with it.

    Big hugs!

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:35 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I wouldn't let his family know that you know. Try not to let this taint your positive memories of who your friend was to you. This is something he probably elevated to over time, I don't truly understand it. Just offer support to his family, try not to focus on the crime and how he died. There are support groups for survivors of suicide, maybe you can get some comfort there.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 5:27 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Nothing "causes" it. Some people are just like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • IDk,, he never WAS like that,,,what could happen to a person to make them do something so awful,, I would probably kill someone myself if I found out they had been taping my kid in a bathroom,,

    Comment by kimigogo (original poster) at 12:15 PM on Jun. 16, 2011