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Whose kid is this?

Has anyone ever thought that Adads have it tougher than Amoms in adoptions as far as strangers opinions?

When I am out with my kids, people seem to assume that because their skin does not match mine, that they are mine biologically but that my (husband/exhusband/BF, etc) must have had darker skin. When my husband is out alone and since his skin doesnt match, they assume the kids are not his genetically at all (They dont assume his wife must have darker skin)

I remember hearing of this in our homestudy classes but didnt put much weight into it. Has anyone else experienced this?


Asked by 2ndtimewish at 1:16 PM on Jun. 16, 2011 in Adoption

Level 16 (2,683 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • We are all white, but I'm a natural redhead with light skin and DD has a very beautiful olive complexion...I've had people mention to me (especially in the summer when the sun has darkened DD's skin but left mine nice and blindingly white) that my husband is obviously dark, so I definitely understand what you mean from your perspective. But people often comment on how DD has DH's eyes and how much they look alike...even people who know of the adoption say how much she looks like him.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 9:23 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I was doing a paper in class the other day and stumbled across an article that was written a couple years back. It was about a black man and his wife. The adopted a white little girl and in his interview he was talking about how awkward it was to take her to the park or the store. He was explaining how people would come up to her to see if she was okay and to make sure she wasn't being kidnapped. It was a good article. I have a friend who is married to a white man and had a baby. People actually think that she is the babysitter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • We, us and daughters, are white and our baby is hispanic. I think we all are aware strangers wonder for a second as they walk by; until they get distracted by something else. It is not hard for anyone in our family. We know it is human nature.

    Answer by ochsamom at 1:29 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I haven't ever heard of a situation like this.. I know where I come from.. skin color doesn't matter to me & I don't look twice and think, " that colored girl that white chicks kid"?..

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:19 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I can honestly say - no. It doesn't happen to me or my husband. Equally people assume we are adoptive parents together or apart. The only thing different is people ask me more questions.

    Answer by frogdawg at 5:42 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Good question. IDK. Our adopted child looks exactly like DH. The agency said they have never seen such a strong physical resemblance. Often when DH is out with our son, others make comments about how much they look alike. I do know that he beams at those comments.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I can see how a dad could be questioned if he doesn't look like his daughter. I think it's a bit easier with with dads and sons. DD looks a lot like me (she's our biological child and we're white) and my twins look different because they are bi-racial (Asian and white). We have had people comment that our sons look more like their dad because he's Italian with dark features and they have dark features. DD and I are fairer skinned with light brown hair and hazel eyes.


    Answer by JSD24 at 10:08 AM on Jun. 17, 2011

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