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3 Bumps

I don't know what to do...help!

My DH has all these "great ideas" that work for him, and wants everyone to do as he says, even if you feel it will not benefit you at all. Then, when it doesn't work out, he gets mad at everyone else except himself.

If you're sitting there wondering "what kinds things?"...here we go.

He wanted me to quit work and be a SAHM, he wouldn't shut up about it. I told him that I felt I wouldn't enjoy it, and all this other stuff. Does he listen? Nope. He rants, bitches, moans...everything under this world until I quit work. He wouldn't help me with our DD, wouldn't help me clean, ect...
It just became too much. I would talk to him, he would give me the same ole excuse, "if you'd quit work, these things wouldn't stress you as much, don't bitch to me about it, just quit work" or "you working puts stress on our marriage". Well, I finally quit in January.

It's June, and now he wants me to get a job because HE despises me because I'm a stay at home mom and because things are not up to HIS standards. He basically wants me to become a "Stepford Wife". Then, I told him I would get a job. He tells me if it's not X amount a year, then it's pointless because we wouldn't be able to afford a maid.

Now, he will admit he "was wrong for wanting me to quit work." But, still blames me because when have I ever listened to him and done as I'm ask to do.

REALLY?!?!??! YOU want to PLAY THAT CARD?!?!?!?!

So, I'm just at wits ends. Everyone else fault but his own.
I've told him over and over again that I'm not paying for a maid. He can help, and if he doesn't want to, then he'll live with what he has.

I'm sooooooooooooooooo fucking tired of this crap. So, so tired.

Oh yeah, and talking never works with him. Ever. He just finds some loop hole to push it back on me.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Jun. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • omg maybe u guys need counseling.. sry but ur husband sounds like a douche
    zperez0809

    Answer by zperez0809 at 2:51 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • He won't go. Tried that too.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:51 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • wow, what a douche. Sorry I have no advice.
    booger14

    Answer by booger14 at 2:52 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Wow, iv used that same word( im not no stepford wife, lol) listen i have 3kids i have always been a stay at home mom, i have never worked. the house is messy sometimes, but i look at it this way, if its not discusting and gross then oh well, i have 3 kids and i don't want to live my life more focused on cleaning and cooking then i do on enjoying being a mommy. i use to think i had to have it all in prder before hubby got home ( i put that all on myself ny hubby didn't think i should have to take on so much). its a mutuel respect that has to buld and if he can't understand that taking care of the kids is the main job you need to focus on then i think he should get some conseling or something. do you want to go back to work? because if thats what your calling is then mybe you should
    God BLess
    fun3oo

    Answer by fun3oo at 2:56 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Sounds like he expected a SAHM Stepford Wife to me.
    If you went to work...would you easily qualify for making the amount of money he has set for you to make? Just wondering if this is part of his ploy to keep you home anyway..that's why he puts a dollar figure.
    He doesn't own you...don't forget that. You can make your own choices in the end, if you really want to work he can't stop you.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 3:05 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Somewhat sounds familiar, but I haven't quit my job. I think if I quit, the house still wouldn't be up to his standards. I like things clean and picked up, but I am NOT a clean freak and will never be. My fiance also doesn't help around the house at all. He keeps wanting to hire a maid. Finally I said ok, but he hasn't found one. Maybe he thought that would "scare me into cleaning"? Lol He lost that bet.
    CollinsMommy729

    Answer by CollinsMommy729 at 3:11 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I just wanted to add....you're trying so hard to make HIM happy with whatever situation he wants....what about YOU? I forgot to add. It's not a one way street.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 3:17 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I've been looking for a job, and it can be close to what he wants me to make, but no, I won't get a job for the amount he wants. And, yes, I want to go back to work. But, with this market....it's hard to find a job.

    I mean, I could just list the things that's happened because he's so selfish and childish. I really don't know what to do. I would hate to leave.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:19 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Have you ever read the book "Why does he do that?" If not, get it and read it because your spouse sounds like an emotional abuser. You shouldn't be doing things because he tells you to, you should do them because you want to and if this is how he is treating you no matter what you do, then he is abusing you.
    Sithpadawans

    Answer by Sithpadawans at 3:42 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • why don't you just leave him it sounds like you're unhappy and you feel that everything with him is useless, just leave.
    CEWarsop

    Answer by CEWarsop at 3:54 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

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