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3 Bumps

Would you let your 2yr old travel to another state with a parent that the child does not know with out having a court order for visitations?

He always asks. its not the first time. I live 3hrs away in a different state and we do not have a court order for visitations so basically he doesn't not have to return her. i was told by a lawyer only to let him visit at my house. so anyways, it makes me nervous to go to court to settle all this because he hasn;t gone to court. i don;t want to start anything. should i just let it go the way it is or go to court to get this all settled already?

btw he has not seen her in almost a year


Asked by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Jun. 16, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • NO WAY! Your child would probably be scared leaving with someone they don't even know anyway. They could feel abandoned and frightened. If he hasn't seen her in a year, he obviously doesn't care that much. I'd say no visits outside of my house. If he doesn't like it he can go to court. Listen to your lawyer, they know what they're doing!

    Answer by hill_star03 at 5:33 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • NO WAY!!!

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 5:27 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • nope nope and a nope

    Answer by mymommasgirl at 5:29 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • he pays child support but he refuses to go to court to get a visitation order. he has threatened but has not done it in 2yrs but he brings up all this like i should just hand her over with out a court order.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:30 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Absolutely NOT. NO, NO WAY. Protect your child and yourself. Insist on court ordered visitation in your home only for several years.

    Answer by meooma at 5:33 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I am currently going through a divorce and my answer would be no way. I would go to court and get things settled first letting them go.

    Answer by momindiana at 5:33 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • meooma, why court order visitations in my home for several years? if we go to court then he probably will say i been keeping her from him. but its not been true. i just insist on being there. that is all. so i am nervous he probably will get overnights in another state. not sure how i would get visitations in my home. i might for like 6months ect but she is 2 so i am not sure how long. i will ahve to talk to a lawyer again about it. its been 2yrs and its time for this to be settled already.i am done with the games.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:37 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • No, absolutely not. Tell him if he really wants to see her, and bring her to his place than there has to be a custody/visitation order in place first. If he still brings it up, and refuses to file than go to the court and file yourself. I made the mistake of allowing my ex-husband to take our two children without an agreement and he stole our older child from me - separated her from me and her sister. It took me nearly 9 months to get her back, I had to jump through hoops and deal with the pain until I could find hard evidence that he was using our daughter as a tool, emotionally abusing me and my other daughter, and I had to get child services involved to show that his place was not suitable for our daughter - at the time he was living in a two bedroom trailer with his girlfriend, her two children and her mother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • fuck no

    Answer by sophistcatdfury at 5:46 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • They would start a graduated visitation schedule, first supervised for a few months, then unsupervised for a few hours one day, then unsupervised for a few hours on 2 separate days, then overnights. Unless there is abuse or neglect, you will not be able to supervise every visit he has with your child.

    I would say that you should get everything don through the courts. Even if it's just a written agreement between the two of you, signed, notarized, and submitted to the court. In the end, it will protect not only you but your child.

    Answer by laird6372 at 10:20 AM on Aug. 14, 2011