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4 Bumps

Should I or should I not?????

I have a difficult decision to make. I need some help here. I was molested as a child by my step dad for several years. I never was able to tell my mom. Since I have been married I don't see him very much. Mom either comes to my house or we meet somewhere. Well he has passed away. I'm really not sure if I can go to his funeral or not. But on the other hand I need to be there for my mom during this difficult time. Any suggestions? What would you do in my position? Thanks!!!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 6:48 PM on Jun. 16, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I wouldn't go. Why weren't you ever able to tell her? If you couldn't share with her the difficult and emotional time you had, why would you be willing to do so now and torture yourself even more? To have to sit through a funeral and listen to people talk about what a great man he was would make me sick.

    Answer by marybeth927 at 7:01 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • u have my prayers. i will be in the same place soon, my dad doesnt have long to live and i havent seen him in over 5 yrs. although my mom knows that he molested me, she stayed with him. when his time comes i will not be there.

    Answer by esmith1984 at 6:56 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • i wouldnt go! but thats just me. i dont think i could be saying goodbye to somebody that took my childhoodl! and if you dont go your mom should understand to. Thats a tough question, but i think your mom would be okay and even if you told her you wouldnt feel comfortable doing that. Does your mom even know? hmm if not id understand but then again i still wouldnt go id make up something then, bc if you have been being the parent to your mom ( meaning sheltering her feelings of not letting her know what her husband was doing) then you should be ok with telliing her you cant go.

    Answer by amberpowell at 6:58 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Tell your mom you do not feel comfortable attending the funeral than be there for her when ever she needs you.

    My hugs, love and prayers to you for having to have gone thru this. May you find some comfort from it all some day.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:00 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • personally i would go. not for him but for your mom.

    Answer by Ronnies_Girl at 7:00 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I was more ashamed than anything. I never told anyone.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:02 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Please do not be did nothing wrong

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:06 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • (((HGS))) God bless you i think if she knew she would understand you not being there and im with ^ virginiamama71

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 7:11 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Oh wow!!!!

    I am trying to answer this question, but I really cannot imagine being in your shoes!

    I would go only because your mom might think it suspicious since you have never told her and since she is the one who is still around I would support her, but if you think it would be detrimental to your mental health please do not go!

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 7:15 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • If you don't tell her you will continue to live with it inside... my heart goes out to you honey... don't be ashamed you did nothing wrong. I know you are worried about how it may turn out when you tell her. as far as going to the funeral... It's a lot for you to deal with. Maybe you should go and put yourself through that pain. Im with marybeth927 on this one. your mom will be fine without you there.

    Answer by miamoma at 7:28 PM on Jun. 16, 2011