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How should I react...

I recently went on a playdate with a new mom I met whose 3 kids were the exact same age as mine. It was in a public park and I had my husband come to be safe. She spilled some very intimate details of her life (even though it was the first time we hung out). And I told her some things about me. Including that we have recently in the past three months gotten our children back from CPS and that we felt our children had been harmed while in care (0nly our eldest and we felt this way bc my four year old has told us that she was touched and where, our youngest was with a different foster family and they were amazing.) I also stated their wasn't much we could do bc we had already told CPS and they felt like we were just trying to cause trouble (though they moved our children). I told her this bc she had told me how her children were touched by their daddy and that now they were on the run from him and in hiding though she never reported it. Today I got a call from one of my mandated workers telling me that someone called my case worker and told her that I arranged a playdate for my kids with someone I didn't know, told them that the kids were in still in foster care and being molested and that my husband was probably harming them too. This was all false and made up but the only person who could know details like that was my husband and this girl and I know it wasn't my husband. So now CPS feels I have some problems making healthy boundaries. My question is, how should I react? I feel so very angry bc I certainly saw things about this lady that were not great parenting but I didn't feel the need to report her. What should I say and do?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Jun. 16, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I would also advise taking the high road and just walk away. If she's going to screw you over like this you really don't need that toxicity in your life.

    As much "fun" as it might be to confront her about the lies, I see it as only causing more drama and problems. Do you REALLY want someone like her in your life? Probably not.

    (((((HUGS))))) and good luck.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 8:21 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Have no contact with her. I wouldn't address it with her at all, because it could go south easily, she has already shown that by calling CPS and putting words into your mouth. Stay away from her.

    Answer by marybeth927 at 7:41 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I never tell someone else about your details about personal dont know this woman or have built trust in her that sometimes takes years not a play date....just move on and learn from your mistakes

    Answer by nana0128 at 7:54 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Why on earth would you divulge such intense details about your family to a complete stranger? Where did you find her to arrange a playdate? I'm not going to ask why your kids were in CPS to begin with, because that's a completely separate issue, but it's obvious to me that you do have problems making healthy boundaries.

    None of what you did would be considered 'good parenting'.

    Answer by jteffs at 7:41 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Dont go with that lady again---no more play dates!!!, don't tell people(I mean ANYONE) anything even if they are spilling their guts, deny to CPS the play date ever happend, and if they have prove tell them you just met her that day at the park, let it blow over and make better choices next time and never tell anyone about your CPS troubles ever again!! My extended family doesn't even know about my CPS crap, granted my kids were only in foster care three days, but still, I never speak of it, because people will treat you different and some people like other peoples grief, therefore they make drama

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 7:47 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I didn't ask why they were there. I don't care. Endangering your children is how this relates to your parenting. I understand that you brought your husband but you don't know this lady. She could've done ANYTHING when you got there. It's not safe to frolick with strangers. You should've at least met her one on one before you brought your kids.

    Answer by jteffs at 7:48 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Bump because I have a lot to say, and it's not nice.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 7:53 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Ignore it, there's not much you really can do.
    I have a bad problem of sharing too much info too :(

    Answer by mrsvixen at 7:42 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • jteffs I don't understand how this relates to my parenting at all. What I tell to other ppl has to do with me personally and not how I parent. And the reason my children was in care is irrelevant to this question.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:44 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I had met her on five other occasions before arranging a playdate. Thanks for clarifying your stance though, I guess I can see how trying to empathize with her was not a great idea and therefore could endanger the kids. It is kinda something clearer in hindsight though....

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:51 PM on Jun. 16, 2011