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Would you think/do if your hubby/so said what mine just said to me...

We were having a discussion about business and work. I told him I can't handle him working another job, it's too much for me, stress wise, to not have a moment to myself ever, I don't like being a sahm, and I'd rather work part time.

Well he got a second job and said he is taking it and going to work there, I basically told him then he might as well not be with me because our relationship is already on the rocks, if he is going to be working 7 days a week and we will never see each other, and the job he just got is crap, starbucks, when he can easily put more time and energy into his own business that brings him 45 dollars for an hour session easily.

He said starbucks is guaranteed, and I said 1 hour doing your own business is 5 hours at starbucks. So I said what is so important at starbucks that you'd rather spend 5x's the amount out of the house than if you were to just do your own business and work harder in it. No answer.

I said no, If you can work 1 hour the same amount you can work 5 hours somwhere else, and you choose to be gone 5 hours over one, just live out your car I am done. He's all if you can't hanle me being gone that much then why don't you just die, just end it for yourself.

I am so pissed. I am just at the point where I swear if he comes back and doesn't give me a complete apology and kiss my ass, I am done with him. I have no need to be with him. At the most I will just use him, every dime he brings in, will be in my pocket, I am done. Not helping anymore, not down for this anymore. I instatnly just felt shut off and like feelings evaporated into thin air.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:08 PM on Jun. 16, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (28)
  • Yes sweetie I read it. I wanna punch him in his mouth for you. I'm sorry I should have specified HE should have never said that. I just meant people in general should never say that.
    sugamama3

    Answer by sugamama3 at 9:03 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Wow that's evil. I wouldn't put out for a long time. When he asks why tell him when you're dead you can't put out. Make him realize that shit doesnt get done as much when you're not around.
    sugamama3

    Answer by sugamama3 at 8:15 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Regardless how angry, you should never tell someone to die.
    sugamama3

    Answer by sugamama3 at 8:17 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Okay, having a fight and saying get the fuck out of my life is one thing. But to actually tell you to go kill yourself? No, that is a whole new level of fucked up and needs to be seriously addressed. That is NOT something you say to someone you are supposed to love.

    Now, granted, the conversation probably couldn't have been handled better, but that one sentence said it all. Marriage is in serious trouble and if he is wanting to work somewhere else so he doesn't have to come home and deal with the issues he helped create, then perhaps a separation might be good for you.

    You sure he isn't getting some on the side? What he said proves that he absolutely no respect for you. If he can say that an not immediately appologise, no respect.
    Sithpadawans

    Answer by Sithpadawans at 8:29 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • What an awful thing to say, my good friend just killed himself on Monday, and I bet his family would give anything to have him back,, I agree with you about doing his own thing on the side, perhaps you could help advertise for him,, IF he says he is truly sorry,,,,I don't know momma, it made me sick to read this post, and to all the women who think you are being drama, they don't live in your house or have this guy for a husband. sorry and hugs.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:23 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Um, it sounds like you were both saying really hurtful stuff. He was responding to YOU basically kicking him out because he got a JOB. I bet he is feeling pretty hurt and pissed too.I dont think he wants you to die, I think he was just trying to show you what a drama queen you were being over getting mad that he got a steady job....
    Auntiemom410

    Answer by Auntiemom410 at 8:13 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Hug from me!!!!! XOXOXOXO

    I would get down to the nitty gritty of why your baby's daddy needs to have this 3rd job that makes close to minimum wages if he has these other jobs. I would bet it is not for the money and for something else like he doesn't think he could do your job which is take care of the kids, maybe he wants to get away from stress at his other jobs, maybe he has too much pride to let you work and needs to be the breadwinner.

    Your feelings are important and what you are going through is important, but that is why you have all these wonderful ladies on this site. You vent to us so you can relieve stress and clear your mind so you can find solutions.

    Talk it out with your man after you have had some time to yourself or finished talking to a trusted girlfriend and come to a win/win solution. The trick is you need to begin this because he probably won't. :(
    Gingerwheel

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 8:33 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I am with you on this one. I would grin and bare it while putting money away. If you are already working, did you ask him who will be taking care of his children while he takes this third job since you won't be avalible?? As far as Starbucks.... could there be another woman that works there that he is involved with?
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 8:37 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Anon... you don't need an apology. You NEED a MOVING VAN. Right now.

    And a lawyer for your child support.

    He's GONE. This second. Get your ducks in a row.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:06 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I am sorry that you are having a rough time.
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 8:10 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

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