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10 Bumps

I know I am going to get a lot of negative comments, but

Has anyone else felt this way or am I the only one? I feel like a bad parent even asking this...I had another baby a few weeks ago, but I just do not feel that close to this baby yet. Like I still feel more attached and a stronger bond to my 1st child. Is this normal? I mean don't get me wrong, I love baby #2, but I just feel closer to #1. Will I become more attached to baby #2 as she gets older?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Jun. 16, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (20)
  • yes, it is normal, yes you will bond with the new baby....just give it time. and i don't think you'll get any negative comments. what you are feeling is normal. congrats on the new baby!

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:52 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • It's normal!!! Contrary to what we are led to believe, bonding doesn't happen instantly. It took me a little while to fully bond with my youngest.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 8:54 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Just try to think positively and remember the new baby needs your love as much as the first did. You might be having a bit of PP depression... just go easy on yourself and if you start to feel bad, talk to your doctor. I am sure in time your feelings (and hormones) will resolve themselves and you will be crazy for #2 as well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Normal! It sometimes takes time to develop a bond with a new baby, especially if you had less than your ideal birth experience or are having trouble breastfeeding.

    I felt like crap after my second was born because I felt CLOSER to him than his big sister. But that was a hormonal response and had nothing to do with loving one more than the other. Either way you feel is normal. Just so that if the pendulum swings the other way :)

    Answer by Ati_13 at 8:57 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • oh honey it happens to more woman that you'd think. Some women have a more difficult time bonding with their babies right from the start. I have a friend who said it was almost 4 months before she really felt it with one of her babies. It was her second too.
    I felt strangely when I had my first, yes I loved him and was completely in awe of him but I had this strange feeling, one I didn't expect. I don't know how to put it in words. I would look at him and feel almost like he wasen't mine, ofcourse I knew he was mine, I loved feeding and cuddling with him. I sometimes wonder if it was the drugs or not. I had a planned c-section and a spinal, who know's. DH also got to hold him before me so I don't know if that effected my feelings. I was sick after having my second and had a strange connecting feeling with her too. And with her I had an epidural. I only mention about the drugs because I had my 3rd cont.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 8:57 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • naturally and once I laid eyes on her I was so over the moon in love. Same with my 4th.
    I wonder if the drugs play with our minds like that or if we are just second guessing our reactions and putting too much thought and expectations into the experience.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 8:59 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • It's normal. I did feel a connection with my son for a couple months. Not all mother's connect immediately and that is ok. Give it time.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:59 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • I really think it is hormonal. Your hormones will calm down eventually, and you will feel the love and the bond you don't think you have right now. But sometimes hormonal imbalance can lead to depression so be on the look out for severe changes in mood, etc.

    Answer by CarriePM at 9:03 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • Amanda, I had a C-section with the same drugs, and I was instantly in love with my baby. So I doubt drugs have anything to do with it. A spinal block wears off after a couple hours and the pain killers are not taken for that long, unless you had some kind of complications obviously. Also, moms who give birth naturally often take pain killers after for tearing, etc. Women's hormones are usually what affects moods and emotions during and after pregnancy - C-section or not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

  • dont you worry honey, its normal, next thing you know, you wont even remember that question, you be to busy bonding and loving it. i know that you are a great mom. take care.

    Answer by grandma-lety at 9:15 PM on Jun. 16, 2011

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