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who is wrong here...

i never get off with my new hubby. it's always been a problem for me with any man. the other day we had a quickie & he was about to cum. i was like no and so he held back but when i thought i was getting there i said go head so we could cum together but he of course went before me & i was left hanging. he said he would go to the store real quick come back and finish me off. i waited & waited then i heard he was home & still waited. so i finally called down stairs & said what the hell? he said he had to start dinner cause the boys mutual meeting started an hr earlier so he didn't have time. i was upset cause i was still fired it.

 
melody77

Asked by melody77 at 1:04 PM on Dec. 12, 2008 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,435 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Yes, he should have helped you out but sometimes life gets in the way and you either do it yourself or wait.
    It shouldnt be all about he owes me, she owes him. That never makes intimacy worthwhile cuz the mindset isnt there.

    Try various positions, try some of that stuff thats supposed to slow him down. Get a vibrator like was mentioned...it can help you cum faster and then maybe you can do it together.

    Explore, play around...it will get there but relax and dont be so fired up about who owes who or you will never get there. Its not just about the willing body but the mind too.
    BonesDragonDew

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 1:33 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • CONT" so i asked him if he could finish me off the following day even though i was kinda tired but i thought as long as he just finishes me off & i don't have to do anything to him i would be fine with that. guess what, he ask can you do this for me. i was turned off & upset cause he got his & i didn't. i didn't want to have sex just get some pleasure back that he owed me and not have it turn to another sex night were i never get off and he does. so he said he felt he wasn't asking much some oral and i felt i didn't ask him much and that he owed me and that he has already came and that i never do so he should try harder and let me relax for once so that maybe i could. so should i have given him his oral of should he done what i wanted?
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 1:06 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • Try getting a vibrator or some other toys and starting before him so you are both ready to cum at the same time. Maybe make it a show for him or have him use the toys on you.
    pagan_mama

    Answer by pagan_mama at 1:07 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • we ended up being resentful towards each other but i feel he wasn't listening to my physical needs and that i just needed it to be about me for once. anyway we turned our backs to each other and we are both hurt but i can't feel resenful cause all he was thinking about was what could he get out of me rather then what can i do for her since i already got mine. he is younger and a total horn dog.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 1:10 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • Try taking top. You control the speed and motion. Your hubby will also like that you take control.
    tsa_momma

    Answer by tsa_momma at 1:11 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • He shouldve given you yours! Thats totally selfish of him. I have the same problem with my husband. I ONLY get off during oral and for the longest time he wanted his first or at the same time so i finally got fed up and told him that if he ever wanted oral from me again he'd have to start giving me mine so i can just lay there and enjoy. And it has worked out like that ever since lol its harsh but try it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • My hubby doesn't believe in masturbation, even himself, so I wouldn't be able to start things off to help myself get to where he is! He asks me EVERY TIME to do a little oral beforhand but he doesn't really do much to turn me on! It's always the same and starting to be a bit of a turn off! I think YOu are right Mama! A woman needs hers too! My hubby ALWAYS finishes me off at the end, but doesn't do much to try to make it at the same time, or to get me real fired up in the beginning! And when I try to talk about it, he gets all insecure and argumentative!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • well thats what i did the first time and that is what really set me off but this time i just didn't want a whole night of sex maybe some oral to help me relax and get in tune with my body more and maybe i might get turned on enough so that when we had our quickie again i might get there this time, as i almost did. the question really is who is wrong him for asking more sex or me for wanting it to be about me since he owed me it?
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 1:13 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • To answer your ?, yes he's at fault. But like I said before you take control. If this goes beyond the bedroom, than you need to have a serious talk with him.
    tsa_momma

    Answer by tsa_momma at 1:13 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • i never feel good on top like i had before.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 1:14 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

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