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2 Bumps

If a really good friend, in conversation, told you that that suicide will eventually take them, what would you say/do?

She's had a pretty messed up life, but told me tonight that not tomorrow, or next week, maybe not next month or maybe not for 5 years but eventually she will commit suicide because things will get too much for her... It really shocked me, because she is by far the strongest person i know, and had no idea her battle with her inner demons was so bad.i knew she struggled at times, but never knew quite how how much... She has been in counselling off and on for 15 years, currently not receiving treatment, because she feels that questions that need to be answered will not be, and have not been solved by talking to a professional. She spent 4 years trying many different medications, to no avail. What do i do??? How do i help her? I feel privileged she has spoken to me about this, but feel im letting her down by not knowing what to say or do.. Help!

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06Lilraysmom

Asked by 06Lilraysmom at 7:10 AM on Jun. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (309 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I honestly don't have any advice, but I am so sorry! I feel bad she feels that way and I feel bad she put you in the position to know that, when there is not much you can do! I will bump this for you for sure!
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 7:13 AM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • Tell her she can always talk to you if she needs to and just be there for her. You might also talk to a suicide help line or a counselor or even do Google searches on helping someone who is suicidal to get ideas. But know in the end you are doing all you can and she is in charge of her life. You are a good friend!
    whitepeppers

    Answer by whitepeppers at 7:15 AM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • Many of us feel the same when things don't go they way we want. Not to take aways the seriousness of your situation but you have said that your friend is the strong type. Keep completing her and tell her that she has a lot to give. She can make a difference in this world. And more importantly that you, her best friend, will always be there for her.
    Cafemomoftwo217

    Answer by Cafemomoftwo217 at 7:18 AM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • *complementing
    Cafemomoftwo217

    Answer by Cafemomoftwo217 at 7:19 AM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • Tell her it really bothered you when she made this statement and if there's anything you can do to help make things better for her! Let her know how much her friendship means to you and suggest seeing a different therapist if the previous ones haven't been of any help to her. It's good she trusts you enough to open up , she needs someone like you!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 7:21 AM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • She doesn't talk about herself very often, and usually she is a pretty positive person. She said as well that 'the act is getting hard to keep up' and when she was talking she just looked at the floor emotionless, as if she was talking about going grocery shopping or something as normal as that.
    06Lilraysmom

    Comment by 06Lilraysmom (original poster) at 7:21 AM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • Just express that you care. She can't foresee how her end will come even if it is by her own hand. It's just her way of seeing things. I wouldn't over react to it. I've been saying stuff like that for 40 yrs and have no intention of killing myself.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:27 AM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • I said to her she shouldn't say things like that, and that im always here for her no matter what, and i need her to come to me. She said she has known this since she was about 8 years old...she hasn't said alot, but she has been wronged in her life too much, has lived thru more in her 23 years than most have in their whole life..... It makes me so sad that she is going thru this, and I've never seen or heard her open up like this before......
    06Lilraysmom

    Comment by 06Lilraysmom (original poster) at 7:28 AM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • She needs to be in counseling. Maybe she wasn't with the right counselor before. You could also suggest she put her life into words. Writing can be very therapeutic, and sometimes it helps to share your story with others. I lost a brother to suicide and I wish he'd taken the time to reach out the way your friend has. You could also consult the suicide hotline for advice on how to respond to her.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 7:32 AM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • I agree with whitepeppers - call a suicide hotline yourself and let them know that you need advice for a friend who confided this information. Hopefully they will be able to give you some support so you can help your friend. It sounds like she's trying to find help but that's not necessarily working. She may need someone different or a different approach. Obviously, she doesn't feel it's adequate though.

    Best of luck to both of you!
    Nonoluna

    Answer by Nonoluna at 7:49 AM on Jun. 17, 2011

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