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Lying about using an obscenity at school

Almost 13 yr old daughter got banned from school computers for changing her password to f-word you. Daughter does not use obscenities. Denied doing it. So hubby and I backed her up and asked to see the computer logs proving it. Logs showed a 5 sec lapse between what she had typed previously and the obscenity. Fairly strong evidence against her.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Dec. 12, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • YAY !!!
    Another mom who is raising her kid to be responsible for her actions !!!!
    I think you made a good point with the punishment and even the humilation.
    My momma used to threaten me with the bathrobe and curlers when I was in school.. and I knew she would do it - so i stayed OUT of trouble.
    I'm so sick of logging on here and seeing people say that kids will do whatever they want regardless of what you say or do.. so just let them do it and get away with it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • So I went pulled her out of class and laid it all out. If the school insisted on punishing her for something she didn't do, I would pull her out and put her into her old school. Her Dad would NEVER support the move, so it would cause a huge rift between us, but I would not back down. If however, she was lying, she could fess up now and stay in this school. She fessed up. Said she typed the bad word in a document and then erased it, so she didn't consider it lying since the school accused her of changing her password to the bad word. I've already blocked her favorite website, what other consequence in called for?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • It's not really a big deal. Kids are going to cuss weather you like it or not. At least she didn't say it out loud right?

    Answer by 3Smiths at 2:08 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • I was really looking forward to taking her to see Twilight this weekend, but that shouldn't happen, either. Guess I should pull her out of sports, too. Not certain about piano lessons. But she should certainly lose the cell phone. I mean, there is no more serious crime at this age than lying. The obscenity makes me disgusted cause she has definitely been taught better, but that is minor compared to the lying.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • I think you're coming down WAY to hard on her. It's a part of life, to lie, and cuss. Minor punishment yea, but to take away everything over something that hardly means anything is going a little far.

    Answer by 3Smiths at 2:11 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • Talking to her and telling her you're disappointed in her would do more good that taking away everything she likes to do.. I know when my mom talked to me seriously and told me she was disappointed in me, it made a lot bigger difference because I saw my mom as more of a friend than a disciplinarian. Personally I think that kind of relationship works out better for the mom and children because then there's a stronger bond, and I know in my case me and my mom still have a strong bond and she has MUCH of my respect.

    Answer by 3Smiths at 2:15 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • I really do wish you luck!! You seem like a good caring mother, so it should all be okay in the end.

    Answer by 3Smiths at 2:17 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • I think that the pulling her out of sports is going to do more harm than good in the long run, and seems a bit harsh for this particular "crime"....

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 2:19 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • The disappointment is obvious. And stated. But I don't want to be a friend to my adolescent child. I am her parent. I believe that friendship can come later on when she's an adult. As far as lying and cussing, I believe those are character issues and, as a parent, I have a responsibility to society to raise my child to be of good character. Lying is obviously the more serious problem, but the cussing makes one appear inarticulate and diminishes her credibility. Not acceptable in a young lady with dreams of going to medical school.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • I completely and utterly agree with 3Smiths. You're blowing up like a volcano over a tiny little thing. Yes show her that she shouldn't lie or cuss, but geeze woman keep things within reason.

    Answer by Deathlilly at 2:25 PM on Dec. 12, 2008