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Should I consider divorce?

My husband and I married at 19 and I am now 21. After a couple months of marriage my husband said he wanted to spend more time with friends. I said ok no problem...but it was problem. He started drinking, smoking, hanging out all night, and selling drugs. He ended up in jail and when he got out he quit his job and we lost our apartment. I moved in with my Mom and soon found out I was pregnant with my second. The doctor also told me I had an std which I did not have a year ago and was recently transmitted. So my husband had cheated. I confronted him and after a while he admitted it. I keep trying to give him a chance to change but he isn't. Should I move on? I want my own place but he will probably want to move in with me. I want him to be involved with our children but he barely comes to see them and barely buys diapers.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Dec. 12, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • YEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • Honey, its over. Move out and move on....if, later down the road, he decides he wants to be that man you married, cross that bridge when it comes, but for now it needs to just be you and your kids.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 2:34 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • i am so sorry . It is defianetly time to move on. you can find someone who will respect you and your kids. sounds like he is taking advatage of the fact that you are so forgiving. try to move on. i wish you the best.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • Wow i really think you should get a divorce what he did to you is discusting. If i were you i would move on and get my own place. And if he try's to move in with you tell him to grow up and get a job and start paying for his children and if he says no i would get a restraining order until he does change. For now you should just worry about you and ur babies.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • I agree with Carolyn. I think you definitely need to separate from him. Have you guys gone to counselling at all? Has he made any efforts to change? If he really wants to be involved with your children, he will make the effort. If he truly wants to be married to you, he will make the effort. If not, time to cut your loses.
    I wouldn't except any lame excuses from him and I wouldn't let him move in with you, no matter how much he begs.

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 2:40 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • yes, i dont see a reason not to.............jmo

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:42 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • Honey I'm sorry its been so rough for you but YOU have given it YOUR best shot and it isnt working so I think you shouldnt feel bad about filing for divorce. Do it for you. Do it for your kids. God only knows what he will bring home next and expose all three of you to.

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 2:51 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • i would leave him no one can be forced to change, they have to be willing to change. cheating would be all youd have to say and id leave him. but being pregnant and having an std? thats too much i would leave him instantly and not let him come near you. get a divorce and set up visitation so he cant be with you.

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 2:56 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • yes my ex was like you. although i know a couple that stayed together and are really happy. i almost think wow maybe if i stayed we could of made it. i was not as strong as this woman is and they also found this great religion that helped them overcome their past and are strong in it. i think with god you can do anything but if you truly want to be happy then this man can't help you. he would have to want to change and i bet he feels there is nothing wrong here. this couple that survived are very blessed and if you wondered what church they are mormons.

    Answer by melody77 at 2:58 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • Thanks for the advice everyone!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Dec. 12, 2008

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