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2 Bumps

Mommy's going to SNAP!

Ugh.. I don't even know where to begin. My husband and I have been having problems sinec Christmas. I have no idea what happened, btu he went home to go see his mom with dd for a week. And when he came back he would barely talk to me, wouldn't kiss me anything. He went 3 months without even telling me he loved me. I think he might be cheating on me (I have my reasons, not going to go into details here) but he won't admitt anything. Well the other day out of no where he just came up and start hugging on me and telling me loved me, and even said he was going to put his wedding ring back on. (which he hasn't done). And we had sex for the first time in over 4 months. I am just so confused... and hurt and angry. I want to make it work, but I just don't know if I can. How am I supposed to forgive and forget everything he has said and done in the last few months? How can I erase him saying "you're the biggest mistake I ever made"?

On top of that my job is driving me crazy. I work with MR/DD adults in a work center. It's stressful to say the least. I love all my clients very very much, but some days they just drive me crazy. And my co-worker is the most annyoing woman in the world. She will say "you know what I mean?" every 20 seconds in a conversation. There's days I just want to close my office door and hide. I make good money and it's a salary job with benefits. We can't afford for me to quit. And I'm not going to find anotehr job in this area that will pay the same with my degree.

So I have people in my face all day at work, a co-worker who drives me crazy and an 18 mo old baby who is a complete monster when she comes home from daycare. she wants my complete undivided attention all night. So I'm trying to deal with a scraeming toddler, clean and cook dinner (dh works 12 hr days in a factory). And I jsut can't deal with it anymore. I feel like shit. I am exhausted ALL the time. I had a great aunt pass away monday morning and her funeral is tomorrow, but I told my boss it was today just so I could come home for a few hours of peace. And the peace has been so nice it just made me realize how stressed and exhausted I am.

I just don't know what to do... I wnat to make things wokr with my husband, but I don't know if I can or not. Something needs to change that much is obvious. I can't keep going like this.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:16 PM on Jun. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • I know everyone says it, but have you tried couple's therapy?
    CarriePM

    Answer by CarriePM at 5:18 PM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • I'll gently make the suggestion that you talk to a therapist, who can help you sort out and arrange your thoughts. Most insurance carriers actually do cover it- but you'll have to call and make sure.

    I've just started couples and individual therapy, to help work through some of the baggage. It is most definitely helpful to have a "safe" environment to say what needs to be said.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • All I can say is this, one day at a time, one problem at a time. I worked with DD adults too. They're great, it's the normies you gotta watch out for! Whatever normal is anway... totally understand not forgiving the husband. amazing how men can just "fix" things and switch their emotions. he obviously worked something out, but you haven't so you need to let him know. Try to give your DD some undivided attention as soon as you get home from work, 20 min should do, then get her playing by herself and you should be able to sneak away into the kitchen. give her a drawer nearby with crap to play with, spoons, cups, whatever makes her feel like she is helping you...

    Take a deep breath, know that you are not alone! They don't call it the witching hour for nothing! I swear that I miss my commute sometimes, it gave me time to unwind and decompress after a long day. Good luck mama!
    dwmom2008

    Answer by dwmom2008 at 5:40 PM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • Did he ever tell you why he was acting that way? If not then that would be a good place to start a conversation to work things out. As for the whole cheating issue that is something that you will have to work out before you can begin to trust and move on. Maybe make sometime to start talking about how you feel towards him right now. Sorry to hear about your great aunt. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now and just need some time to process it all. Is there anyone who can watch your dd for you so that you can talk a walk or something? I hope things get better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • hugs 


    sorry that's all I have to offer!! Just try to stay positive and I like the idea of a therapist, seems like there are issues that need to get worked out!

    MommyYeoman

    Answer by MommyYeoman at 5:44 PM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • I agree on some couples/individual counseling. Have you though about finding someone to come over and entertain your dd while you make dinner and do chores, since your DH isn't home to help out. The chores would be done a lot sooner and it would allow you time to unwind without worrying what DD is doing.
    amandajoy21

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 11:41 PM on Jun. 17, 2011

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