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I'm trying but getting nothing...

My parents divorced when I was 6. My mother put my father through hell, and always made it difficult for us to see him. My siblings and I would see him every other weekend for a couple of years, but then he moved to another state, and we saw him less and less. I haven't seen my dad since I was 17, I'm 20 now. Last time I saw him he was in the hospital, and he didn't even know I was there, but he remembered my brothers being there.

I don't know what happened between my father and I but, we use to be really close. When I was a kid, I got a lot of attention from him, and he was my dad. Now, its like...I'm not even there. I try talking to him, and stuff, probably more than my brothers do, but he still just doesn't show any love.

I got into a car accident while 8 months pregnant, and being RH negative, that can be dangerous for the baby. I sent him an email about it, and he didn't respond for 2 days and even then, I had to call him and ask him if he got my email. He said "oh yeah I got it." No, are you alright, or is the baby ok.

He didn't even come to my wedding, which we postponed so that he could be there. He said it was because he didn't have enough money. But just 2 weeks later, he was able to go visit my brothers who live in oregon. (My dad lives in Nevada, and I'm in California). So he could go visit them, but he couldn't come to his ONLY daughters wedding.

I don't get it. and when I try talking to him on facebook, like through IM, every now and then he'll say hi back, but most of the time, I send him a message and he doesn't respond and just logs off.

I mean, he really showed no concern at all for me getting into a car accident.

I just feel like he gives more attention to my brothers than he does to me.

I usually get him a fathers day gift every year, but this year, I'm just not even going to bother.

What can I do to make him just show me some kind of love, or should I just say fuck it and forget about it and just not even try anymore? It hurts every time I get ignored, and I just can't really take it anymore.

Answer Question
 
monstersmommy20

Asked by monstersmommy20 at 11:17 PM on Jun. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,781 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I would just ask him and tell him what you are looking for and have a frank discussion with him about how you feel. You can either let it fester inside and not let it out or go ahead and talk to him. The worse that could happen is that nothing has changed but at least you know that you jumped through every hoop and it was nothing on you end. Lots of luck!
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 11:19 PM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • He does have something to give, he just gives it to my brothers. I use to be his princess when I was a little girl. But now its like that never happened.
    monstersmommy20

    Comment by monstersmommy20 (original poster) at 11:23 PM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • Maybe he was hurt so badly by being away from you for so long that he had to become "numb" to survive. I would have a frank, honest discussion with him. Tell him just what you told us and how you feel about it. *hugs* Good luck!
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 11:41 PM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • Talk to him sweetie, tell him exactly how you feel ask him why is he acting like this with you when you were his little princess, why does he only give more attention to your brothers & treats you like if you don't exist, tell him how that hurts you. If after you talk to him he still keeps being like that then just fuck it & don't talk to him anymore unless he looks for you. It's not fair how he is treating you that isn't right sorry hunny =(

    VanillaBlondie8

    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 11:45 PM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • Yeah theres nothing more painful than being rejected by people you love and we do naturally expect more from them,would maybe going to see your dad be an option? Maybe you could talk and see why he is treating you this way so that you can come to terms with it. i would have another adult with me-your husband if you are married. I dont think its too late to mend.
    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 11:47 PM on Jun. 17, 2011

  • i would try talking to him once more. He could be so hurt by not seeing you he just thinks you dont want anything to do with him. Maybe he feels your brothers wanna see him and you dont. i would just tell him what you expect if he doesnt follow through just move on bc you dont deserve to be treated as less than your brothers. GL! I hope things change for the better!
    Heather021287

    Answer by Heather021287 at 12:22 AM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • if you NEED the closure, write a letter. if you send it, thats up to you... but do NOT expect anything back from him. he has stuff to give, he's not hurt from the time apart, or even thinking you want nothing to do with him... IMO, he's just being an asshole. blood does NOT make you family.
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 1:35 AM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Have you tried prayer...i think this should be your next step in recovering the lost love
    Jeelly

    Answer by Jeelly at 9:16 AM on Jun. 18, 2011

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