Although my daughter is not yet a teen( she is 12) I am appalled at many of the suggestions here to get teenage kids to modify their behavior. Not only would I never treat my own kid with such contempt and disrespect, but I have the experience of my older sister, who has nothing to do with our mother because of the way she was treated in her teenage years, after she spent all night at a boys house at 15. We were not allowed to date. I was younger, but the rules were the same for us both. She liked a boy, and decided to start seeing him. She could not discuss this with my parents, as my mom would not hear of this. When my sister was missing, my parents naturally worried themselves sick( they called everyone, the hospitals, the police). When my sister returned, the worry turned to anger. She was grounded. they made a huge effort to stop her from seeing this guy. Took away her phone for a week, made her come right home from school for almost a month. Mom never really trusted her again. My sister really hated being treated like a dog on a leash, and it wasn't that she missed privileges, but her pride that was hurt. And she resented it, and now she still remembers and resents it. Now in her late thirties she will not speak to our mother. She made the decision to go to college far from mom and dad. And the resentment grew. She feels(correctly) that they had no right. Yes, they are the adults, and need to safeguard the child. But they should have taken into account that she was no a young child, and had the right to make her own decisions to a large extent. If they trusted her to go to school and live in a dorm at 18, why would they treat her like a little kid at 15? I agree. They just clamped down on her because they could. Because it made them feel better. Now even when my sister lets her kids be with their grandma, it is my dad or myself that picks them up and brings them.
i know this is a long and boring story. But in view of some comments here, i thought I would share it. Be aware that teenagers will have their own lives soon. How you treat them now will not only reflect how difficult your lives will be while they live in your house, but how your relationship will be with them when they are adults. If you demean them, (God forbid)spank or otherwise hit them, make them afraid of you and hate their home, they will leave and never look back. Do not punish them like children. Do not take away their privacy in any way. Compromise. Honestly, its good advice.
Answer by kazmia at 3:22 AM on Jun. 18, 2011
Answer by bcauseimthemom at 4:32 AM on Jun. 18, 2011
Answer by DMac08 at 6:57 AM on Jun. 18, 2011
Answer by missanc at 8:28 AM on Jun. 18, 2011
Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:45 AM on Jun. 18, 2011
Answer by attap5 at 10:45 AM on Jun. 18, 2011
Answer by onethentwins at 6:55 PM on Jun. 18, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Jun. 19, 2011