Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

I am looking for good rules/ Punishments for A three year old???

Lately I have been having some issues with his Behavior!! I am a single mother and I live with my dad so when it comes to rules and punishments we fight non stop. He claims that he is three and shouldnt have rules. I think he should. And they are nothing Major. some wouuld be.


punishment is he gets a warning the next time he ask and if he ask again he gets a time out!

2) No hitting and kicking

3 mins in time out right away!!

3) all meals must be at the table

lost of dessert

4) no yelling inside

3 warning and than a time out

What does everyone else think?? Is that to much for a three year old?? Can anymore think of any other good rules??


Asked by Anonymous at 3:27 AM on Jun. 18, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • "He claims that he is three and shouldn't have rules," this is priceless to me! What child thinks that they should have rules? Of course he thinks there shouldn't be any, it's up to you as a parent to stick to them so that he can learn. I think you have excellent rules. We have a few but they seem silly when written out:

    No spitting unless you're brushing your teeth
    No climbing on the table.
    You don't go outside without a grown up.
    You don't say "no" to Mommy or Daddy.
    Nothing happens in this house unless you say "Yes Please," "No thank you," or "May I please."

    Answer by beckcorc at 3:41 AM on Jun. 18, 2011


    Answer by MRZDAUGHERTY at 3:34 AM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Hes just spreading his independent wings like my dd is doing. I swear I am giong nuts also!!! My mom used to punsih us by taking a fav toy away after the time outs were not successful when we would do the same again., I do with my dd, and it actaully works for a short time. But little by little, I do notice a difference. I make her 'earn' her toy back if she will sit and be quiet for as long as a commrical is. I make it longer of she acts uo during this, and she is finding out she doesn't like this, so now she mnay still do a 'bad' thing like throwing things, or spitting, but I tell her once "NO!", she doesn't do it again. But its still 2 steps forward 1 step back on some days, buts its been 2 or weeks, and I have seen improvment, little as it may be, I see it.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 3:40 AM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Man, its seems like you have your work cut out for ya! Things are gonna get worse, IMO, if your dad lets him get away with things. Its like 2 parents who are seperated, 1 is easy laid back, let hem do whatever, and the other parent is more strict and sets upo reasonable rules, then the child says "dad lets me do it all time!!" and now u r the bad person. Sonmehow u r gonna have to come up with a compromise if your son can go to pop pop and lets him do it anyway.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 4:50 AM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • It seem like you will continue to have problems until you move out. And just because that is his house does not give him the right to do that. Wow I don't know what to say. It seem like its going to be hard because everyone is not on the same page. Kwim and your son know these things too. Can you just pull your dad to the side and talk to him about how you are feeling? Let him know that you know that is his house but he is your son. And you are doing what's best for him even though it may not seem like it at first. A child need rules and those rules should be enforced not just by you but everyone. Good luck

    Answer by suzzanna at 4:54 AM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Every child needs rules. We have rules for our 1 year old, some of which are the same as yours, like meals at the table only, and no means no. Children need rules so they know how far they can go safely. I think you are doing a wonderful job having rules in place for your son :) Good Job Mama!!

    Answer by alphamom26 at 12:10 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • My three year old has rules and punishments. We have a stern household. She has a chore chart and if she does all the things on the chart for the week, she gets a special prize. She has to feed the cat, pick up her toys, clean up her art area and pick up the dirty clothes. She gets more check marks for remembering to brush her teeth without being asked. Her end of the week prize is usually going to do something special with one of us without her big sister. This week she chose to go to work with daddy for a few hours. He is a farmer so it worked out. She knows that is she does something wrong she either gets in time out, a toy taken away, or if it is really bad she gets 2 pops of the behind with my hand. It usually does not come to this. Try a chart and see if it helps.

    Answer by mamato2gagirls at 1:47 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • MRZDAUGHERTY- He has a special chair. I ask him to go sit down we put the timer on for three mins. Once it goes off we talk about what happened. I will ask him why he is in time out. What he could of done and what he is going to do now. If he looks at me and will not answer I ask him to sit down till he is able to talk about it!!

    Michigan-Mom74- That sounds like a good idea I will have to try that thanks!!

    beckcorc- That is what i said when he claims they shouldn't of rules. He also claims he shouldn't have Chores. But he can set the table and clean it off when we are done. Help with recycling. and I make the bed but he puts his own pillows his stuffed bear and his little blanket on him self. But i feel like it goes 2 steps forward and one step back. When my father watches him He doesnt use it and all the work we did is out. So than I feel like the bad guy. like today he got in trouble and it was mommy i dont like you ...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:52 AM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • I want pop pop your mean to me. I tried to explain that I am your mom and when I say something that is what we do. But my dad was letting him smack him and claims he is just playing after i asked him not to do that!!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:54 AM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • I disagree with the whole notion of using manipulative punishments that are demeaning or disrespectful to the child, as I think they cause the child to be rebellious and resentful. Of course no means no. Just don't EVER change it to yes if you've already said no. He'll get the hint. Hitting and kicking he can be gently reprimanded in a stern voice and you explain that it's not nice. Teach him it's good to be nice and to be kind. My kids all responded fine to that without the need for time outs or "punishments" per se. We never punish the kids. We teach them appropriate behaviour, largely by modelling good behaviour. Use manners and respect when you address your kids and they pick it up. There's no problem with your rules, but if I was you, I'd rethink the consequences. If you treat your kid that way: trying to control them and by manipulating (bullying?), then you teach them to behave that way toward others.

    Answer by judimary at 3:54 AM on Jun. 18, 2011