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My bf's daughter will be 11 at the end of this year. Everytime she comes to visit us she acts like a rotten little brat. And he let's her get away with it. I know that when she's at home with her mother she doesn't act like that. I've experienced it. I don't know how to tell him that he needs to stop being the good guy/best friend and start being her dad.

She lives with her mother most of the year in dallas, texas. When she comes to visit she has to go do everything and spend all sorts of our money. Which isnt that big of a deal but I try to tell him she's here to see him not all of atlanta.

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BobbieJo1986

Asked by BobbieJo1986 at 11:40 AM on Jul. 12, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • I am sure there are other people that have experienced this more than me and can answer better.. but I've heard this many times from many people.. The 11 year old is trying to get attention. I think it is up to you and her dad to let her know the rules in YOUR home.. Good Luck.
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 11:50 AM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • Having been on the other end of this (the little girl), we just want to know that we are loved by our daddys. My step mother hurt me more than anything the day she told me "He(my dad) isn't like this all the time, you should have to live with him every day." I didn't choose for my parents to split and as a child I would have loved to spend every day with him. Just remember that feelings are tough. Kids have to make up for the time they are not with a parent. ATTENTION is WHAT THEY WANT AND THEY WILL TAKE ANY THEY CAN GET.

    As an adult now I can understand why my stepmom didn't like me to come, but she and I also know that my Dad loves us both very much.
    standr4

    Answer by standr4 at 12:33 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • I was daddy's little princess and yes a spoiled brat too. He liked what he did for me and I wasn't about to stop him; however, looking back I can't remember all the stuff he bought me but my memories do recall all the quality time he spent with me. Some kids associate money with love. Tell him to teach her how to love from within and not expect gifts. Love is not spelled with a dollar sign. Her future husband will thank him for it! Oh, and btw, my mom used to dress me in old tattered clothes so he'd buy me all new ones and she'd tell me to order and buy the most expensive stuff when he took me shopping so you never know who is encouraging her to pump him for all she can get out of him. I finally grew up and realized what was what but I had some seriously askewed value of love and money for a long time. Her dad can love her and teach her the value of both by setting limits. He will have less problems with her as a teen if he starts setting boundaries now.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:40 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • He probably feels guilty for not being there for her the rest of the year...Have him make a list of things he would like to do with her, and things he would like to do with the entire family, then budget out how much that will cost, add a little buffer like 100 for little extras and then just Stick to the Budget and when the $ is gone for doing stuff its gone

    I used to visit my father a couple wks per summer I would have rather had the family experiences rather than the money spent...money didnt show he loved me it just showed he'd rahter have some type of spacer thing between our relationship as father and daughter
    ReneeLRS

    Answer by ReneeLRS at 2:55 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • My guess is that he feels guilty about not seeing her on a regular basis, so he lets her get away with a lot more than her mother does. What if you did more family type activities? That way she is shown she is involved in your family as well and loved by you also. Good Luck... I know step-parenting can be no picnic.
    taracv

    Answer by taracv at 8:45 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • I think it is a big deal that yall spoil her with materialistic things. It's giving her the wrong message. Try doing things like talking, taking walks, crafts, puzzles, where you can spend time in one another's presence.

    I know this must be a tough situation :(

    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 9:18 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

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