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6 Bumps

Would this be to mean?

My kids, and the kids that I am watching are constantly fighting over cups and bowls. There is no 'favorite" cup, but every day, every meal, there is fight over who got what color cup or bowl. And it has lead to several spills, and me being very pissy. I set the rule that if you complain about the cup you were give, or you give a cocky attitude because you got a certain cup or bowl, you will be excused from the table and will sit in time out. Well, its not working. I'm tempted to either excuse those who complain or cock and attitude will be sent to time out till AFTER everyone is done eating, then they can eat by themselves. Or I'm also tempted to just excuse them from the table all together and they will loose their food till next meal. The fighting has got so bad that I spend most of my time managing the kids, and I end up skipping meals because I don't get a chance to sit and eat.

And no, I cannot afford to go through all of my dishes and replace them all with matching ones. I do have a nice matching set of glass dishes, but the kids eat off of plastic plates and cups that are assorted colors. And I can't even just give everyone one color each because no matter who gets what color, I can't please everyone.


Asked by daughteroftruth at 2:04 PM on Jun. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,602 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • I think you should excuse the misbehaving ones until everyone is finished eating, then let them eat alone until they can decide to use the stuff they were given. As they said in my daughter's school, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."


    Answer by banana-bear at 2:14 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • I honestly don't think you should cater to the kids to give them all matching plates, bowls, cups, etc. They need to learn the LIFE LESSON that they can't always get what they want. Buying them additional stuff will teach them nothing except that if they make enough noise and aggravate you enough, they will win.


    Answer by banana-bear at 2:19 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • you get what you get and you don't get upset
    and i'd make sure the ones who are fighting don't get their choice at all. the one being fought over would go to a kid who doesn't care... or whoever is fighting will get a napkin and no plate at all.

    Answer by juliness at 5:38 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • In our house we live by the motto, You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit. Anyone who feels the need to throw a fit is excused from the table area and put into time out and will get another chance at the next meal. A child will not starve from missing one meal and until you put your foot down this problem will not stop.

    Answer by scout_mom at 6:43 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Banana Bear is right, they need to learn that they can eat with any color plate. Maybe you could reward the ones who do not fuss, with a cookie or treat after they eat, or extra computer, tv, or play time. Anyone who fusses (even a little bit), does not get the reward and must politely watch the others enjoy it. Try to have the attitude of "oh well, you are responsible for your actions, and you don't get it today, maybe you can earn it tomorrow.' I don't know if it will solve the problem, but it will help. If it does not work the first day, give it a few days. Good Luck.

    Answer by Kay000 at 7:01 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • What about having the kids bring their own dishes from their home? Have the other mom mark them with their names on them and then those few dishes stay at your house. And mark ones for your kids before the others show up one day. GL

    Answer by whitepeppers at 4:31 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • I'd send the ones with attitudes away until after everyone's done eating. I too take care of children other than my own, and don't allow attitude at the table during meals. "You get what you get and you don't have a fit" is my mantra as well. And all of them know that rule, so I feel justified in sending them away if there is a fit.

    Answer by Eviesmommy at 6:50 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Give them sandwiches on napkins. no plates.
    Give them their drinks in dixie cups.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 2:08 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Sorry, I was writing my response as you posted. Glad to see you have a good head on your shoulders :o)


    Answer by banana-bear at 2:20 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • I agree with you, I do not think you should change your bowls and cup and such because then that is teaching them if they whine enough they get what they want. I think you should make the complainers eat alone and if they still complain maybe extra time out after lunch dinner or snacks while the other play.. Good luck

    Answer by stacy1124 at 6:34 PM on Jun. 18, 2011