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2 Bumps

Mostly concerned, irritated too. Should I say something to my neighbor/friend?

So yesterday on of my neighbors/friends asked me to watch her kids after our 1/2 day of school. It was a last minute thing, she needed help, so I said, of course. Her mom (who I talked to) originally told me she'd be getting home at 4:30 - the usual time is 7 - 7:30 PM. When I talked to my friend, she said "Oh, I said I could get home by then if I had to." I let her know that my son had a game at 5 PM & that we had dinner plans w/ friends after the game, so that I would either need to drop the kids off w/ her husband at 4:50 or he would need to pick them up at the playing fields as I couldn't drive them home when she got there. She said she'd let her husband know, but seemed a little hesititant.

So, I'm driving the kids to the game, & as I pass their house, I see her husband's car in the driveway. I call the house, get no answer, but I leave a message asking him to call me. I don't hear from him, so when the game is called for weather at 6:15, I call again - no answer. So, I called the wife, who was driving home from about 40 minutes away. She said "Oh, he's probably taking a nap & turned off the phone." I explained that my dinner plans were now pushed forward & asked what she wanted me to do - take the kids to the restaurant w/ me, what? She said, "Just have them go in the house, I'll be home soon - they know not to wake their dad up when he's sleeping." I asked if she was sure, that I wanted to make sure they'd be OK. She said that the kids would wake him up if they really needed him.

I took the kids into the house (no sign of dad), left the older one w/ my cell # & told him to call me if anything went wrong, including them just being nervous & that I would be back in just a few minutes. Please no bashing, as I have been beating myself up for dropping them off at all. I called the mom again at 6:45 & she had gotten home & picked them up.

I saw her this morning because I forgot I had some of the kids' stuff in my car. She barely said thanks & said nothing about her jerk of a husband.

I like these kids, & if the mom is stuck at work, clearly dad isn't going to look after them. I don't want her to not ask me for another favor, as I don't want them to have to be basically alone w/ their sleeping father. But, I don't want to get put in this position again.


Asked by sweetpotato418 at 4:17 PM on Jun. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,958 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think I'd probably say that whilst I am happy to help out where I can, but that it didn't sit right with me not passing the children back to a compus-mentus adult so that I know that I've carried out my complete duty of care as the last responsible adult in their charge. I didn't catch ages of the kids but assuming she wouldn't expect me to leave them home alone or go for nap leaving them unsupervised. If she see's fit to leave her children with a sleeping adult, that's HER choice - it's unfair to ask me to do the same as in terms of safeguarding it feels wrong. It's a difficult one as you don't want it to look like you're passing judgement on her choice, but equally she should try to respect and understand how you would feel if something happened before she got home.

    As for making you late - I'd allow one more strike and then withdraw service if it happened again. Good luck!

    Answer by ItsHalfFull at 5:41 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Say something to her.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:22 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Wow, honestly, I think I would have gone over and woken the jackass up myself. What a jerk! I don't have any advice on what to do next time, but I would really make enough noise to get that man up. Good luck (c:

    Answer by scout_mom at 5:00 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • i would have brought them into the house and pretended, whoops i didn't know that i wasn't supposed to wake him up. i would have smiled and said alright here are your kids, your welcome for watching them for you! :) how is your friend supposed to do all of it without their father's help? sure he may need to sleep, i dunno his schedule, but as mother's we don't get to sleep as much as we'd like either!

    Answer by juliness at 5:26 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • I would have woke him up. I do understand though your position. If it feels right then just explain to her how uncomfortable you were leaving the kids like that.

    Answer by syida at 5:36 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • LOL - I really should have woken him up...but I think I might have socked him. He has to leave for work by 5:30 AM (the same time as my husband BTW). He is home everyday by 4:30, but the grandmother keeps the kids until 7:30 everyday when the mom gets home.

    I don't know if he's a drinker or what. I feel badly for my friend that her home situation is like this but find it weird that she just acts like this is normal. Maybe she thinks it is.



    Comment by sweetpotato418 (original poster) at 7:08 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Thanks for the input ladies!

    Comment by sweetpotato418 (original poster) at 10:04 AM on Jun. 19, 2011