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What would you do

My and my friend were talking and our neighbor came and started talking about her dh how he married his cousin and had a kid with her but he left her then they got together. Get this she was 16 he was 37. She went on to tell us how her mother chased him with a butcher knife when she found out but let them stay together. Now all her timing was wrong the years she gave he would have been with his wife but that's not my point.(This is my question) If your 16 came home and said she was dating a 37 year old would you approve???. I told her shes lucky if my dd did that the man would be in prison. She came back with when your in love what can you do nothing will stop your child from being with them and i responded jail bars will she got mad and left.

Answer Question
 
whitenena

Asked by whitenena at 5:34 PM on Jun. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (4,298 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • LOL!! i would've pressed charges against him..whatever charges i could think of. at the very least, i would've punched him in the 'area' and made him sorry he ever looked at my dd.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 5:36 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • there is no way I would be ok with my daughter being with a guy that much older when she is 16. I dont know if I would press charges, but he would not be welcome in our house.
    happy-go-lucky

    Answer by happy-go-lucky at 5:42 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • She is a child!!!! His ass would be in jail!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 5:43 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • There is no way in hell my underage child would be pulling that crap and if she tried, the guy would regret it!
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 5:44 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Hell no! The police better get to him before I do!
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:11 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • There is absolutley NO WAY I would let my 16 yr old DD date a 37 year old.. I wouldnt let her date anyone older then 17 or maybe 18...
    stacy1124

    Answer by stacy1124 at 6:28 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • How old is she now?
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 6:29 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • she is 27 now theve been together for 11 years she said.
    whitenena

    Comment by whitenena (original poster) at 6:38 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • At 16, I would be pressing charges and raising cane. When she was older though, I really couldn't say anything. At 19 I went on a couple dates with a 32 year old. *side note*- that only lasted about 2 weeks LOL.
    asmcbride

    Answer by asmcbride at 8:05 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • To a certain extent she is right, in that kids can/do find ways around rules in order to have/do what they want, and in that authoritarian control ultimately isn't very effective. The problem is, that being true doesn't mean "you can't do anything" or "you're simply helpless" (because "what can you do?") It doesn't have to be an either/or of absolute control or complete permissiveness.
    You can recognize the ultimate autonomy of another person (your child) without abdicating your self-responsibility in the situation. You can share your reactions, misgivings, thoughts, preferences, and opinions without holding back, & if your child has been able to develop her self-responsibility, she will be comfortable taking all of that into account & weighing your heartfelt input heavily.
    But the presence of that sort of dynamic means that the orig scenario isn't very likely to happen! But IF it did, control wouldn't be the default.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 2:07 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

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