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Why is it so hard to take her without me?!

My SO is a wonderful dad. He is hands on, and very involved in everything. our DD is 2, and it seems like he hardly ever takes our DD anywhere without me. I am a SAHM, my DD has never spent the night away from me, we have never been apart for more than a few hours, and I do things with my DD and take her out all week long, while he is at work. Sometimes, I would just like him to take her, to the park or somewhere, on a weekend WITHOUT me having to ask him to do it, or asking me to come. You know, just do something with her, just them.
I take my DD to my moms house at least one morning on the weekends so my SO can sleep in. And have a few hours to himself. Is it too much to ask for him to give me a few hours alone too? So that maybe I can get some cleaning done? Or just relax? Ugh...

 
Mme.Langley

Asked by Mme.Langley at 8:03 PM on Jun. 18, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 33 (59,456 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Have you tried being honest with him about how your'e feeling? Men often don't realise unless thngs are spelled out clearly. x
    ItsHalfFull

    Answer by ItsHalfFull at 8:05 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • I've been a stay at home mom for 4 years now. I went through this with my hubby. We've spent so much time fighting over it in the past about how I am always stuck at home with her and never get to be without her for even 5 minutes. I finally talked to him about it and we worked it out. I found that just being honest with him is what works the best. Now he takes her to the park or even just outside to play in the back yard so I can have some time to myself. He even takes her up to the gas station when he wants to get a pop or whatever. I say just be honest and explain to him how you feel and that you wish he would just take her for even just an hour so you can have some you time.
    SMG1120

    Answer by SMG1120 at 9:00 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Men sometimes don't get, I just flat out say to my husband, could you bring him with you so I can take a nap or this or that? Or will you please take him with so I can get some stuff done. I'm not a SAHM but, I know that even the mother needs a break now and then. good luck to you!
    Sillylins

    Answer by Sillylins at 11:00 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • Have you asked him to do that? Men are clueless you have to be pretty blunt with them.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 8:20 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • I've had to go through this too. Just tell him you need "you" time.
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 8:31 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • I'm sorry. Mine is the same (I am also a SAHM), and even if I ask him, it's no. Too much extra work for errands, doesn't feel up to taking them all to the park alone (don't know why- I do- they're fine!) The kids are 2, 4, and 6 and so far he has only taken the older 2 out once, for 1 hour. He does let me sleep in an hour or 2 once most weeks though (he sleeps in 2 days, I get one)

    So I feel your pain but have no useful advice.
    Tracys2

    Answer by Tracys2 at 8:33 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Tell him you have an appointment.. with the girls, for a much needed mommy-free 3 hours as advised by your psychiatrist lolol.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 9:09 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • There are several reasons why he doesn't take your DD out alone. Is it his child? If not, he might be concerned that if you were to break up, you might accuse him of child abuse. It happens. It's scary. And he would have no defense, except to never be left alone with the child.
    He might not take her out alone, because he's scared. He doesn't feel ready for the responsibility, or else, he's a coward and doesn't want to have to change a poo-pee diaper.
    Finally, like someone else mentioned, he doesn't take her out because he's clueless.
    For the first two reasons, respect his decision. Take your child to a drop-in day care once a week for your free time. For the third, talk to him and let him know what you would like. Then arrange a couple of Daddy-and-Me trips. Send him and child to Chuck E. Cheese one day, and to the zoo another. Your SO will thank you one day, when he has a close, beautiful relationship with her.
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 11:03 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • She is his child biologically, and has no problems with changing diapers.
    Mme.Langley

    Comment by Mme.Langley (original poster) at 3:19 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • He might feel nervous about taking her on by himself. At home, he can always run to you if there's a problem or if she's cranky, wet, tired, hungry, etc. Same when you're out and about. He might feel that he can't do these things by himself. And, as many others have said, he might just be a little clueless and need a point-blank push in the right direction. Either way, sitting down to talk about it would be the best way to go. :)
    GlowWorm889

    Answer by GlowWorm889 at 11:19 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

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