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Has anyone re connected with there dad recently?

I havent seen him since 2001. about 2-3 times. My mom and him divorced like a year after i was born. he never came around, if he did i ran away behind a wall to hide. I didnt feel like i knew him because he never came around like i said. well i felt like looking for him a few weeks ago. I went on and searched for him. to make sure it was his new address i went on a real estate website. yes its my moms and she can only look but i felt like searching his address to look up his records of his new home. I wanted to make sure it was correct and he was living there. I sent him a letter in the mail to get his number. I didnt give him mine because i didnt want too. I had to call his next door neighbor to get her to ask him for his number or to give him mine. So she did, he called. we talked for 20 mins. Then i called him back 2 weekends later. and he hasnt called me but i keep in touch with my half sister. I dont even talk to my half brother, i guess hes not interested. hes too busy with his GF. my dad doesnt call me. it bothers me. and it bothers me my half sister says MY GRANDMA when its OUR grandma. i was born first! Im 28 shes 26. I emailed him and text his cell today and no reply. She said she would tell OUR dad when he comes home from picking up HER grandma.. unless she means her moms mom. Which yea isnt our grandma. IDK.. when my dad called the first time and before we hung up he said i just want to let you know i love you ok? well then fucking call me! we are supposed to meet up on a weekend when we move back home. After DH follows me back home (hes driving im flying down) but im gonna feel out of place.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Jun. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Dads suck! I'm sorry. I've known my dad my whole life and he just let's me down.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:11 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Can I just say, I know exactly how you feel! I've gone through this for years then i just gave up! It's sad and it's not right but it is what it is, you can't change who they are. It's especially hard when i see what a great dad my husband is to our kids and i can't get my own to give a" rats ass" about me or my sister but he has plenty to do with my half sister and her kids! it took me many years to accept the way things are, now I see it as... his loss! Ihope things do work out for you, it's an empty feeling no one else can fill!


    Answer by anichols1 at 11:27 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • I am sorry to hear that your efforts aren't being taken seriously. There will be a time when you will need to make a decision - to keep trying to maintain any sort of a relationship with him and giving him a chance to reciprocate to your efforts -OR- to discontinue your efforts to maintain any sort of relationship with him. You are doing a great job however. I hope your efforts have positive results in the future however don't beat yourself up if that doesn't happen. Remember YOU are giving it your best effort. That says a LOT about your character!




    Answer by SarahFarah at 11:35 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • My dad and I used to have a good relationship, even after he and my mom divorced when I was about 5. Then when I was 16, he just left, completely. I tried for a while, but I gave up after not hearing from him. Then he tried, and disappeared again before I responded. Then we reconnected after my first child was born (he didn't know I was married, much less that I had a baby)...and told me he had cancer. A year later, when my second was born, my dad and my husband had a falling-out, and I didn't talk to or see my dad much any more. Then he died last December, and all I'm left with are regrets.

    I'm still torn as to wondering whether it would have been better not to have had a relationship with him at all, or having had the relationship with all the incumbent hurt. And the answer is rarely the same.

    You just have to decide which you would regret more, were the choice to be taken away from you.

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 11:48 PM on Jun. 18, 2011

  • Yes,my dad just came "home " after being down south almost 14 years. I did not see him during that time,it is great to have him home again. I hope things work out with your dad and you

    Answer by RobinChristine at 2:00 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

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