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Mother's of Special Needs Kids...

How has having special needs children changed how you do things as a family? Do you feel limited in where you are able to go and what you can do? I have found that my husband and I end up taking turns watching the kids alot, while the other goes out to do the shopping or whatever. Almost like we have to do things separately.

Has this affected your relationships with friends and family? Your marriage? Comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks!

 
Heathercurlz

Asked by Heathercurlz at 12:51 AM on Jun. 19, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 18 (6,219 Credits)
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Answers (4)
  • My oldest has autism, and all 3 of my kids have sensory issues. So yes, sometimes it can be a challenge to go to places, as my kids do not react well to very loud places, or crowds.... it can be very overwhelming for them and sometimes pushes the oldest into a meltdown or very snarky mood..... Which ruins the day for everyone else. Hubs and I have learned (sometimes thru trial and error) what places are ok for the kids, and what places we should avoid. When we plan a 'family fun day' we sometimes ask my mom to go along too- that way there is 1 adult per child and an extra set of eyes and hands to help with the kids. We are very fortunate that my parents, my sis and hubs mom all live w/in 20 min of us and most times one of them is available to watch kids if kids do not want to go with us, or if hubs and I have things to do and don't want to take kids with (like grocery shopping- much better w/o kids!!).
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:58 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • My son's story is on my homepage. Yes we do end up doing things seperately . My family is less understanding than my friends. We go to family events and it is like I am there alone,no one wants to talk to me or my son they act like he isn't there. I am too busy keeping an eye on him to really "socialize". We do make a habit though to decline any invite when our son has been excluded,he is a part of our family. We are "iffy" about certain things( like what if we pay for movie tickets and end up leaving) so our movies are rented .This is not fair to our son b/c he is not given the chance but on the same token we dont have the $$ to waste.Hope this helps,Robin
    RobinChristine

    Answer by RobinChristine at 2:30 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • It changed the things we did when he was younger, but I continued to take him places that I knew we might have to leave early and places most people would have said weren't for special needs kids. He's now 13 and I can take him anywhere, he can sit in church quietly, knows how to act in a restaurant, etc. My marriage with my ex ended, but that had little to do with my son. My husband and I do things all the time with all 5 of our kids and don't let my oldest's disability affect what we do. I sometimes have to make accomodations for him (visual schedule, something to hold in his hands, etc) but I try not to limit what his siblings get to do. It did affect my friends - most of my friends now also have kids with disabilities, but that's okay, they're great friends! My family has been very understanding and are good with Michael, some members more than others. :)
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:23 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • we leave early or i avoid going to places i think will be to loud , or set her off. we went to a family gathering yesterday and it got so loud but the cousin took the girls to the park and outside away from the noise unfortunately the cousin forgot to not promise things to my kids because if they she does not do them they hound her about it. my mom was there yelling at my daughter because she was bugging to go back to the park which her cousin told her she would do but because her bf and her were arguing she decided to not do it and blame my kids for her stress( the bf was being a total pig and jealous of other guys being around it was her families party) so since this she thinks she can run a daycare center i told her i would not what if you have a bunch of special needs kids and not sure how to handle it. i mean he is 19 so she is still growing up herself ( not all 19 yrolds are like this though) . so no more parties atm.
    WildCat73

    Answer by WildCat73 at 2:35 PM on Jun. 19, 2011

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