So back in Sophomore year of HS, 15yrs old, I had a friend lets call him T
well me and T had a genuine platonic friendship, we were very protective over each other, much like how a family member would be, and kind of flirty. I met him the summer before freshmen year.
For some reason I always was attracted to him, not so much sexual, but to his personality. Which is probably why we were such great friends
okay well soph year me and him hooked up at a party. We always clung together whenever out, but this time we actually hooked up. Not sex, but he went down on me, we also made out quite a few times. ZThe next week at school we wrote it off as being drunk and that our friendship would remain the same, although the whole weak prior to having that small discussion it was kind of awkward. :/
Okay so again, he lived down the street from my dad, he and I were at his house just hangining out, all of a sudden it turned into a make out sesh. We were going to have sex, but because I waited so long to give him the go he went limp...LOL and I immediately got dressed and told him this exactly. "I think this is a sign that we shouldn't do this, I could get it back up, but we're probably just supposed to be friends and having sex would ruin that and you know it." he was like no it wouldn't, sarcastically, but then after thinking about it he got dressed and was like your right, you're my geek, my nickname to him, I don't want to change that. Then we went in the kitchen to find food lol like it didn't just go down like tht.
Well a few months after I started dating my current fiance. He started hooking up with one of my friends, which I was okay with. He never really wanted to be with her in the way she turned it to be, ended up treating her bad, she cheated that summer, I told him because he was one of my best friends, he thanked me, and then after that they stayed together but he cheated on her so much, would tell her, she would stay because she was in love with him, it was not the other way around.
We always spoke openly about relationships, well generaly and I would give him advice, never felt awkward to me just almost sisterly. Well now I'm 19, have a baby, am going to be married, and I find myself wondering if having this friendship is wrong. I can keep it strictly platonic but me and him have such a deep connection, friend wise, that sometimes I think he has feelings for me again. And I hate to admit it because i feel i should only be feeling this way for my fiance, but i feel a great amount of security with him and a tinge of love, my heart never feels sick or anything from him not being here when time goes by, but partly because I know we will always be bonded as friends, but wouldn't we make such a great couple if we actually took it to that.
Trouble is, me and my fiance have an abusive past, I stuck around because I was genuinely in love with him and he could do no wrong in my eyes. I feel a genuine connection with my fiance too, but some of the drive to have him here still was part infatuation, part love part because we got along so well, part because we have a baby, and part co-dependence. But ever since he got violent with me, even though he is taking classes to prove he is better, and even though he has changed greatly and is a wonderful father, I haven't been able to feel that security again. ANd I dont just want someone coming on here saying you should just dump your fiance. I decided I'd work thru that a while ago for my family.
I have a real mix of the hearts feeling going on
some wisdom would be great, this is literally bringing me to tears writing this.
Asked by Anonymous at 6:30 AM on Jun. 19, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by Tommyskitty at 6:49 AM on Jun. 19, 2011
Answer by Dr.Donna at 7:14 AM on Jun. 19, 2011
Answer by camiam81 at 8:10 AM on Jun. 19, 2011
Answer by attap5 at 9:58 AM on Jun. 19, 2011