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2 Bumps

Toddler in church

My husband, daughter and myself have been going to church together since she was born. For the first year, we sat out in what I like to call "general population". Well, right at about a year, we had to start sitting in "solitary". Now, the cry room has zero air conditioning, and the speaker doesn't work unless the priest, deacon, reader,etc. is at the podium (their wireless mics don't come the the cry room....impossible to hear). Also, many of the parents feel that it is appropriate to let their kids run wild in the cry room. My daughter sees this, and that's when she starts acting up. I asked my husband last night if he heard a single word of any sermon, homily, or reading, and both of us said absolutely NO. He said it feels like the only reason we're there is to sweat and give them a check. What would you do???


Asked by DMac08 at 7:04 AM on Jun. 19, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 19 (8,174 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • First off, I believe that children need to learn how to act in church and the only way to do that is to be in "general population." However I also believe that children should be getting something while at church. If your church does not have a nursery or children's services that are geared toward them that it isn't so dry and boring for them, then you might look into another church. After all, you aren't getting anything out of it either. I spent many years in a church that I didn't get anything out of it and I felt like it was a chore to go to church. Something I was obligated to do. Until I found the church I attend now.

    Answer by attap5 at 9:50 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I don't attend a church with a crying room. We do have a down-stairs area where parents can take children if they need the space, but our Parish encourages families to have their children with them during Mass - how else are they supposed to learn? Our Priest has actually said, "It will be a very sad day when we hear no child cry during Mass". If your church doesn't support young families, maybe you need to look for a different community that will support your current spiritual needs.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 7:18 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I would speak with the church administrators and work towards a solution. Either a quiet table where children can entertain themselves during the service or child minding so you can listen without interruption. Do any other families feel as you do? If you don't receive an adequate response from anyone, I would consider moving to a different parish.

    Answer by Nonoluna at 7:23 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I'd sit in a pew toward the back near the cry room. If she acts up, I'd take her into the vestibule or outside. The way your church's cry room is set up, doesn't encourage families to use it. Does the pastor know that the wireless mikes can't be heard in there and that the AC doesn't work? You could try going to an earlier service too. Our cry room is a lot less crowded at the 9 than the 10:30.


    Answer by JSD24 at 7:27 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I would sit back in general population. There is nothing that says you have to sit in the cry room and if your DD can handle it then sit were you are comfortable. When my children were younger we would sit in general population and we would bring things for them to look at or do. I mean you can it at the back and if she acts up you can always leave. I think I would try and see how it works, if she really can't handle sitting in the general population then you can always go back to the cry room.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:11 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I'm encountering the same problem. The cry room at my parish seems to be full of people who clearly only go to church for show. The last time I tried to sit in there, there wasn't a single fussy baby in the room. There were 3 families with school aged children running amok and wrestling. Two of the moms were chit-chatting. One of the dads kept checking his Blackberry. It was appalling. I left and took my son and sat in a back pew. 8 am mass is Children's mass at my parish, so I'm going to start going to that one from now on. Well, not this week, obviously, because it's 8:15 and I'm here on CM! LOL

    Answer by Vix920 at 8:15 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I am not a regular church going person but when I do go we sit in the main area and if my son starts to act up we take turns taking him outside and let him play for a couple minutes there then we go back inside for awhile. He usually does pretty good, he loves to sing, but if there is a lot of talking, he starts to loose interest.

    Answer by LadyKiki at 8:18 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • Sometimes kids will be kids, but it's important that they're with everyone else because everyone around them is an example of how they should be acting in church. I agree that if you go into the solitary room it's going to be nothing but chaos. lol Find some "quiet" books online that she can play and be reverent at the same time. Coloring books are nice, and also quiet snacks like a bag of pretzels or something.
    I have 4 kids under 4 and it's always a struggle....but if one or two or whatever amount of kids are acting up, we take them out in the hall and they DO NOT PLAY, but sit in time out, then we go back in. Some kids find it as a reward to be taken out, but if you make it about being in time out and returning to where you are, they won't try to act up and get to leave! :) GL! xo

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 9:11 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I hear you on the cry room issue....terrible examples in there for my kids. We just started sitting in the main pews, and taking dd to the foyer when she got loud....there was also a lot of discipline in the beginning, but she is two now and has learned to be quiet during mass. It takes time and patience and yes you will miss a lot of mass sometimes, but what matters is you are there anyways. Good luck, I know it's frustrating, but it will get better.

    Answer by cdecker83 at 9:35 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • Actually, contrary to popular opinion, sitting towards the FRONT of the church can help! If you are in the very first or second row, the young child can see what is going on. Unless your child is very loud and disruptive, most priests do not mind the wiggles and giggles.
    Here are several other tips to try:
    1) Dress for success. Children just do behave differently when wearing good clothes instead of play clothes. Get them dressed up in their finest, complete with dress shoes, not athletic shoes.
    2) Getting ready begins the night before. Help child to shine his shoes, or press her hair ribbons. Talk to your children about dressing up and getting to bed on time, out of respect for God.
    3) Pack a Church bag - a purse or tote filled with toys your child sees ONLY during Church, so they remain fresh and interesting. Might include a Bible-Stories coloring book, some Wikki Stix (Cool, quiet toy at, (Continuted)

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 10:27 AM on Jun. 19, 2011