Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Fathers day issue.

I'm married to an awesome man (5 years) who has stepped in and been a great father to my oldest daughter. Well my daughters step mom texted me out of the blue yesterday asking if I could have her call her biological dad today and tell him happy fathers day. I'm thinking this joker hasn't called to check on her in YEARS and only goes out of his way to see her when we visit our home town because his mother makes him, but he wants fathers day blessings?! I think its my 11 year olds choice if she wants to call or not. I don't feel like I should make her. Wrong or right?

Answer Question
 
alboston

Asked by alboston at 7:57 AM on Jun. 19, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 18 (4,873 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • U r right!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 7:59 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • You are right. She owes him nothing.
    HollyBoBolly

    Answer by HollyBoBolly at 7:59 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I think you should have her call. It's the right thing to do. Be the bigger person.
    Vix920

    Answer by Vix920 at 8:02 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I think you are totally right that it should be her decision whether she wants to call or not. although I will say that I also don't think you should sway her either way. I mean if you bad mouth her bio father in any way or if you tell her something like "it is your choice although I don't really want you to" then you aren't letting her make the decision because she isn't going to want to upset you.

    If it where me I would say something like "If you would like to call your bio father to wish him a Happy Father's Day please let me know and we will arrange something or If you want to call please feel free to" I understand that to you he is a loser & she has someone in her life although he is still her father & at some point she may want to meet him or talk with him. At least that is what happened with my oldest & my husband of 13 years has always been his dad and adopted him when he was 2. My son still wanted to call. GL
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:07 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • Her choice. You have to act like a parent to get any parent acknowledgement.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 8:13 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I agree with you.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 8:20 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • Yep, it is up to her, but if she wants to talk about it, I'd encourage it.
    Hazelnutkin

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 8:58 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • offer it to her. shes 11 so she knows he's a crappy dad. just say "hey if you want to call your bio dad for father's day let me know and i'll set it up".
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 9:17 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • i would txt SM back and tell her that is dd choice and if she wants to call him she will if not then SM is to stay out of it...(she's not the mother)......
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:26 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • Not her choice even yet. At 11 I wouldnt even tell her, thats a confusing age. Id tell step mom it aint happening but you will document it and let her know he asked her to at 11 and maybe when shes 14-16 she can decide what kind of relationship she wants if any. My ex is the same, only seen our kids a handful of times and only when he was in town for business. I told them they can choose what they want from him relationship wise when they could drive.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:45 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN