Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

I have a 13 month old and now a newborn, the 1 year old is very mean with the baby, how do I fix this problem and how long will it last? He is always hitting or pulling hair on the baby.

Answer Question
 
Michelle L.

Asked by Michelle L. at 9:49 AM on Jun. 19, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Hes jealous. Itll pass. You have to make one on one time with him without the baby. Every kid is different. I had two boys 15 months apart but also had a 4 yr old dd who helped keep the 15 mth occupied, so it helped. One on one time is best though.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:54 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I agree with gemgem- he is jealous and feeling like the baby took his place. Spending lots of one-on-one time with the older child, plus giving him little jobs to do so that he feels like he is a part of things, will help tremendously. I have 4 kids, and because we did this stuff early on, we never really had any issues with jealousy.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 10:35 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • I agree with the previous posters. Be sure that you're spending plenty of one on one time with him and try to include him in easy tasks with the baby.
    katiemomNY

    Answer by katiemomNY at 11:12 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

  • The older child is still a baby himself! He hits and pulls hair because he is a baby. It isn't really jealousy yet. He would do the same if you'd brought home a puppy and not a child. You can't discipline him, he's too young to understand cause and effect relationships (If I hit, I will be put in a time out). You can redirect his behavior.
    First, don't let him get too close to the baby unless you are right there to protect the baby. If he starts to hit, catch his hand in mid swing, and tell him "no. Hands are for nice touches". You use the same words over and over. Eventually when he is older he will know the rule. For now, though, after telling him the rule, you redirect his attention somewhere else. "Would you like to touch this toy?"
    He may continue to hit and pull hair until he is nearly three years old. By then, he should be mature enough to know the rule, and accept the results of his behavior.
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 11:24 AM on Jun. 19, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.